Memories * is meant to be keep !

2010-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

Von Willebrand disease (VWD) is the most common — yet least diagnosed — bleeding disorder, affecting about 1% of all people. VWD is caused by a defect or deficiency of a blood protein called von Willebrand factor (VWF).

Symptoms of von Willebrand disease include:

Bruising easily
Frequent nosebleeds (epistaxis)
Bleeding gums or bleeding after dental work
Heavy menstrual bleeding, or menorrhagia
Prolonged bleeding after cuts or surgery
Bleeding in the stomach, intestines, muscles or joints in severe cases

VWD is almost always inherited, from either parent or from both parents. However, there are medications and medical conditions that may lead to an acquired form of VWD.

My body short of one kind of blood, need special blood if I ever require surgery or dental pluck teeth. Well, and in future if happen that Im bleeding profusely without any "special" blood (From hospital) infuse into my body on time, it's time for me to bid goodbye to this world.
Hopefully, my internal bleeding is link to this disease, so that i won't have another problem pop out. I really had enough of in-out hospital. Leave my pocket a big HOLE~ the blood test is not cheap at all & im under private, double more ex!!!
I still have another two more medical appt next mth & feb! ))):

This so call "disease" gona be with me for my whole life. Altho it's not a life threatening & i could still lead my life normally. But then, somehow feel sad over it that i inherited it.

OH WELL, what a life I have. Pls bless me with good health.

2010-10-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

HELLO EVERYONE!

it have been such a long time since i last blog. I am really lazy, 'm really lazy to blog as need to type so much. But Im bored now, so entertain my blog for a lil while! [:
Actually have so many thinqs to say BUT i duno how to xplain ..oh or should i say i duno how to use words to type it out. Very hard to use words to describe my feeling.

OK LAR! Anyws, one good news is: i have already quitted my current job, actually was thinking of further my studies BUT *one fine day* my ex colleague from DC called me and got one job lobang for me AND i went for the interview. **TADAH* i got the job =.= they paying me much more higher then wad im earning now. SO why not try it?!
Really hope the ppl in this new company will be great! I don't wana meet anymore evil ppl *.*
Will have to drop the thinking of studying for the time being, sighhh.... shall see how my new job goes first yah [:

BAD NEWS.. ahhh! i don't wana say until so frank cause it 's so unglam of me saying that.
Whatever lar! that is, there is "something" growing at one part of my body! the most unglam part lar i don't wana say out!~ no matter what, it is still not a good sign that something is growing no matter at which part of ur body. Morever, it's invisible to outside eye and it's growing INSIDE the body. Would need to go hospital AGAIN for further checkup! again!! last year went hospital for the day surgery for my gastric. NOW another problem which may require surgery again? or maybe just examine?! I don'tknow, i dont wana know tooo lar!
Sick of been on medication. At such a young age only, i guess i will have a very short life. Perhaps 10years down the road, i will be full of sickness?? :/

Don't wana say so much! causes my mood to be sooooooo super bad. Im not in mood at all.

*Maybe the next post will be many months later.
BYE ALL.

2010-08-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

I am here to update this rusty blog!

Time pass, and i have pass thru my probation in this company. From the start, i really love all these colleagues. But as time goes by, more n more conflict.

A very small company only, u know?! as small as only 5 colleagues ONLY! hello is 5 ppl only, and yet so much conflicts. MALAYSIAN !!!

those ppl in my office showing bias is malaysian ppl. Human heart are so black. say one kind do one kind!!! two headed snake!!

in work, other than one gal whom i m close with. Both of us now are like loner!!!! the rest are not talking to us! even i greet them in the morning, they are nt responding!!!!!!! HELLO, MUTE ISIT?! WHERE IS UR MANNER ?!!!!!!

im getting so piss off of those ppl here, it getting on my nerve. I can't stand working with this kind of ppl. Boss still tot his staff is very good. he never even expect tat the staff are having war against each other. Still tot malaysian ppl very great, one word "shit" larh!!!

i wont stay here for long lar! i wana start looking for other job. the reason for my resignation is cause: i can't work with this kind of ppl. Wana let the boss know how bad his staff is, if not he would still be ''assuming'' tat his staff is so great.

Ahhhhhhhh, what a life lar! i know in this working world, what kind of ppl also have la. But i still tot only those big company with many ppl then will have tis kind of prob occur. But i never expect, tat even a small company with the amount of staff, even one hand five finger oso could count only ; could have so much probs.

i miss DRAFT CARGOWAYS LIFE ))))))))): the life in DC is sooooo great, the people there is awesome! everyday working sooooo happy, with everyone. NOT LIKE HERE NOW ):

working colleague spending together happily is IMPT to me! cause other then home, working is the place we have to go everyday, if not happy working. WAD THE POINT??!!! will i still be happy???

WHAT A FCUK UP LIFE! I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEM ALREADY!!!!!!!

2010-05-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

Time to update my blog liao :D

It have been 3 wks i started my new job already. Actually, i really dont like the job scope. It is not the kind of job i wanted lor, i want is shipping company. Altho in this company my position is shipping assit, but then this company is a manufacturing company lo so stil got admin stuff ! sometime, even nothing to do and i got to end up doing nothing ! i feel so bored in this job.
This is not my type of job lor, haiz!
I wana go further my studies in july! i will work hard and graduated and find a more better job (:
But then the colleague in this company is great :D nice people to be with, altho sometime they say me cause i do mistake but they are still very good to get along with [:

recently my gastric is back and it is getting worse! After ate the medicine, nv get well lor but get worse lor, hais! I feel so terrible.
this few days, have been vomiting. Everything i eat, all will vomit out.. everytime aft i ate, my gastric feel so xinku, feel so uncomfortable, and everything vomited out.
I am guessing, that my gastric cannot take in food so whenever i eat sure vomit out. haiz..
doc say before my gastric prob wont so easy cure de. But then i didn't expect it will turn out worse lor.. It was like hell to me lor, everyday vomiting! ):
The feeling suck !!!! )':

Will be going back to my doc next week lar. The medicine dont cure me !! :@
ahhhhhhhhhhh! hate this kind of nausea feeling lah! not good~

Yeah~ tmr is weekend!

:D :D

2010-04-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

It is time for me to update this rusty blog! Almost 1 mth plus never blog.

Seriously, there is nothing for me to post and i am really lazy typing so much words. The, me last time enjoy blogging BUT ....... now lose the interest in typing sooooo many words :/
Anyws post so often, also may not be anyone reading this blog!

Finally I got a job! But, i am not happy. Maybe due to that is not the kind of work i am yearning for, altho there is some similarity but there's still diff cause that is not a shipping company.
I know i do not have the qualification or even not much experience; only 2yrs experience in DC. But i guess tat is not enough. Want to enroll in the diploma course Logistics Management, the next intake is july! Guess i would take up tat course, even tho i am not cut out for studies.
But for my future, i will go for it! I will study very hard and i make sure i get tat diploma cert to go for my dream job in the future (:
I really want to plan for my future, i don't wana drag anymore.

But i just cant change one of my character `lazyness. *faint! I mean lazy as in, i am too lazy to do any thinqs. Everythinq also dump it aside cause of my lazyness!
ohgod, i really need to change tat bad habit lah~
G.O.D please give me the strength ........ LAUGH! ignore me* -.-'

Will be starting my job next friday, 16th. 我会加油的! (:

PS: Love my room new colour!* :p

2010-03-07T23:15:00.000-08:00

Need to keep my blog alive!!

It is almost 1 month, i have been slacking. Have already started my job hunting, seen thru jobdb.
well, send quite a few resume but so far no news. Some call back ask few qns & say would call back again but end up never.
Somehow i feel, i got no much mood to look for job. Don'tknow why either, feel really tired.
Feel like don't work, but how can? then who will give me money?
What a life? Just hope that people no need to work, but there is still money coming in. Perhaps, in my dreams lahs.
If only last time, i could do well in my studies jiu hao ler, haiz. Think back also sad lah~

I have been thinking back alot alot, of my past; about what were i doing last time & where were i working last time. And all the happy & unhappy moments in the past. Something which i did really make me so regretful now, but there is no turning back.
just let it goes on. life still goes on and would never stop for me.

I wish to live in a un-realistic world. Cause realistic sometime hurt alot.

So cruel. Life is so cruel.

2010-02-15T00:10:00.000-08:00

Don't feel like blogging, BUT just to keep my blog alive :D

FINALLY, i have left Certis cisco! I left there because of the long working hours & irregular eating time. Actually everything is fine there, the working environment is really not bad; who don't wana work in changi airport? With air-conditional environment and nice scenery & soo many nice foods there; but my tis fcuking company sooo fcuk up; till i really can't stay on lar~!

It is all along my dream last time, to work in changi airport!! ^^ last time used to visit changi airport often, and alw think that how great would it be if i am working there.

The colleagues all is soooo nice, especially my sayang there; haiz. i really miss him soo much! ):

anyws, all the best to everyone of them^^ bidding goodbyes to them :D

out of job now ler, spending my chinese new year now. Searching of new job leave it till when i got the mood to work again BUT not too long lah, i have no income now =x pathetic ):

Just wana enjoy my freedom days first !!!!!! ^^

Wana wish everyone; 'HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR' & HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Let's welcome the TIGER year! :D

.....

I Miss You, Sayang! Many Loves!

2010-01-27T00:40:00.000-08:00

It have been ages since i last blog! Now is already 2010. >.<

During this period of time, many thinqs have happen. Sometime, i am asking myself what does i really want? I hate myself for been too soft hearted, and giving in to people all the times.
It don't do me any good, but i am still digging my own grave.
Well, no words could describe my feeling right now.
BUT after everything, i have think back alot, really alot. I have learn to let go, i won't let my emotional rule my world anymore.
I have giv up, and my heart is dead. After hearing sooooo much, i realise i am stupid. Sometime i ask myself, why does the trust in him is still so much? why does i still treat as nothing happen?
But now, i guess i have learn to let go. i need time to let go completely! I know i can! (=
I have been blasting so much of my unhappiness in facebook. Many of my colleagues was like asking me am i okay or not, why i am so sad?! the only thing i ans them is that i am okay.
I know cause of all my blasting in fb, many ppl is worrying for me.
But no worries, i am not like the past soo stubborn. I would definitely let go if it does not belong to me. There is no happiness by forcing.
So well, i am alright now already. I wana be happy & smiling everyday :)

I have already tender my resignation, and my last day would be on 12th Feb. After sooo much struggling, finally those suffering would be ending soon. I am feeling so glad^^

well well, i wont be blogging so much anymore. Don't have the mood, and don't really want to say out so much stuff in here.
Anyw, will update once in a while when i feel like :D

Takecare everyone!

<3

2009-12-28T00:25:00.000-08:00

也需，这一切就不应该有个开始。

一切的一切都是个错悮。

2009-12-25T23:35:00.000-08:00

先祝大家一个快乐的; MERRY X'MAS! HOHOHO~

大家都和自己心爱的人一起度过，但我心爱的人不在新加波耶，我看不到他！但不重要啦，他现在一定很快乐的和他的家人一起度过。只要他快乐就好！
还有多十三天他就回来了，嘻嘻~ 我在等着呢！

我知道大家可能不会认同我的想法吧！但是。。。其实我自己也知道啦，这可能不是永远的。
我都不敢和朋友说太多呢，因为我不想听到大家对我的选择说的不是。
也不是说我们的下场会不好啦，但是对于他，可能我没太大的信心吧。。。说不出的迷耶！
为了他，可说我是付出了不少~ 我从来不会对他说个“不”字。不管是什么，只要我幇的了我一定会幇。也许，这就是我对于爱情的付出吧！还纪得以前。。。。不说了. 不于快的事情就忘了它吧！
但，在爱情裡我相信是没有对或错的。只要两个人相爱，那就是最美的“爱情”啊，不是吗？

对他的思念好像加了很多很多。我好想他呢！下来的两个星期，我该怎么度过呢？

不想那么多了啦，至少每天他还会打给我耶！嘻嘻嘻。
希望他在自己的家裡能天天快乐 :DD 我在等他！

Happy Holidays to everyone, and have a great weekends! MERRY X'MAS ;DD

2009-12-07T22:20:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my world, Omnia Pro B7330~

My Samsung Pixon leave me so sudden, say die then die. I still not yet backup my stuff but luckily i still got time to backup some pictures & now it's in my new phone (;
First time i bought a phone with no contract. Cause my line not yet 1 yr and i could not upgrade.
Ohyah, and i have send my samsung pixon for repair, will get it back by 2-3 days. And most probably will sell it away or maybe will keep it as a spare phone? *considering*

Everything happen to fast, tis is still the first time i bought a new phone so last min decision but luckily few days ago before the phone die i saw a brochure of the phone im interested. So well, yesterday nite, my phone really die.

And, i got to buy the new phone today in such a rush. I am the type who can't live without phone. Well, it sound like so exaggerated, but maybe i depend too much on my phone, that's why!

I am still figuring out how to use the phone. It look so simple but it's really so complicated.

For ex, the sms, there is no Inbox, outbox or sent items. Everything is combines when with one click to the Sms page, it include all the sms i received & send.

Even the sms is like MSN chatting style -.-" in one msg is you & the other person conversation, and eventually the msg wil become longer & longer, It seem so irritate when there's no inbox, and there is no individual msg.

Everything in tis phone seem so computerise, even those folder or info or what is exactly same as the computer style. Everything seem so complicated & confused to me.

Well, i am still getting used to this new phone & i shall see this phone would stay with me how long before it die. All phone will have bad ending when they follow me, Laughs! Cz they spoil so fast when not even 1 yr with me.

I will treasured my this new phone, and hopefully this time round, it can follow me longer a little bit, just a little longer, would it?

2009-11-25T00:20:00.000-08:00

I am back to blog. (;

Was not in any mood to blog for the past 2 weeks. Many things have happen in work, and im really unhappy about it. But well, can i make the change? I don't think so.

I am trying to accommodate everyone, i am trying not to show my attitude face. But sometime, i tend to did some mistakes.

3 days ago, went to my Jingjing wedding. ^^ she was so beautiful that night. 新娘永远是最美的. I thought that i would be kind of envy of those scene BUT i didn't. I just feel happy for her that all. Perhaps, my heart is dead toward those L.O.V.E stuff or towards marriage. I dread of it. Laughs! My ex boss was there too, talk quite alot with him. And he ask me to quit my current job and join back the 'freight' line. It's similar to what i do last time at DC but he wants to intro me to other company which he say that the boss there's quite good.

I told him i would consider, and perhaps next yr Jan i would approach him for this matter. I have been thinking alot, why don't i work back office hours job? it's so relaxing and could get to off on wkends. Not like now this job, wkend or even public hols also need to work like shit.

I can't stand the long hours anymore. Sometime in work i could be too tired till the extend of my heart feel so weak and pain.

I think i need a change of job environment. I can't work so much like before when i just join the company whereby keep piang OT. I no longer feel i could do tat much OT anymore.

I feel like want to die already. My body is giving way, and wonder when would i blackout in work?

Enough lah for now, i would just work per normal maybe till end of dec. *Considering when to tender my resignation* Laughs.

PS: I would not reveal so much of my personal matter in my blog anymore. *For some security reason. Laugh!

I Love My Bitchyyyyy <3

2009-11-03T01:15:00.000-08:00

To be specific over here ;

Everything in here is just my venting. A ways of venting out my anger. No offences & don't take it seriously, pls! This's my blog, i have the right to write whatever I want. (;

I don't wana stir up any prob cause of my words. See already just forget it, alright?

Thankyou! xDD

Had a great day with my bitchyyy on sat with her, even tho it's just that few hours, but we can talk abt everything. Altho there's something which i say she can't accept. But well, can't blame her, there will hardly be anyone who will accept the choice i have make & it's really very weird for chinese people.

well well, future hard to say right. Maybe it would change? I don'tknow leh. Feeling so happy that i have known you thru draft-cargoways. (; I have make e right choice of joining draft-cargoways and get to know you. And we are still so close after i have left e company. This kind of friendship is "GOLD" to me. I treasured this friendship & let us be together forever. ^^

Anyway, thank bitchyyyy. You are my greatX2 lover. HAHAHA.

MY LOVE* my bitchyyyyyyy. She's alway there for me whenever im unhappy! (; My beloved bitchyyyyyyyy & i love her soooo much ;DD she's such a great fren, great listener of mine, great bitchyyy & great darling. THANKYOU. (;

muackssss! ILU*

2009-10-25T22:45:00.000-07:00

I am in no much mood to blog..

fcuk up life, fcuk up work... everything oso fcuk up.. Nothing ever went smoothly. Really getting sick of everything.

People tend to think and plan for their future. Just like how my brothers is planning for their future. But for me, i don't even noe what i want to be in the future. >.<

Sometime think of it, also feel myself very useless. Feeling depression. LOL.. what i want or what i do alway don't turn out the way which i expected.

I think my life really not good, or maybe my life have been curse by black magic? :/

If i can get a choice to choose to be a guy or gal in my next life, i would choose to become a guy. Altho guy have to carry heavy burden all the times, but at least guy don't so easily soft hearted and won't be the ones who alway get hurt. Gal is always at the losing end. Well, laughs! So u get what i mean? xDD

I must write very BIG !!!! Thankyou, my laopo's! TIANG YA YI, JASLEEN~ for giving me the bra. ;suggested by Anna, bought by Jasleen. HAHAHA`.. anyw thanks. (;
Altho tis yr b'dae is not really great, but still appreciate for the so many b'dae greeting thru sms & fb comment. At least i noe there's still many ppl remember me. ^^ lols..
i have spend my actual b'dae in work, so not much satisfaction. But it's ok lah. Just some outing with my love ones will do, as i dun plan for any celebration tis yr also ma..
So everything is going on as what i plan & expected. -.-"

Anyw, thanks all.

; With loves.

2009-10-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well, basically i have nothing much to write for today.

Just a short post will do. (; Had went for the so called 'talks' for the IR at e2i today. Actually bringing lots of hopes that i will be interested in the job after the talk, but well disappointed in the end. After hearing the talk, i find that the job which they offer is not suitable for me, after much consideration i turn down the offer. heh!

what job i actually want i also don'tknow. I think just temp stay in my current job first while i lookout for other job ba (; That what i can do now. Be happy xD

Something to add on, well went to see doctor in the morning. Tot that aiyah nth only la, but end up bringing back so much medicine. I dunno how to say what kind of illness is tat, but i would need to be on medication for short term *pray hopefully not long term* i can vomit by swallow down so much pill everyday loh. The previous 1 wk mc i have already ate lots of medicine le. I really hate the sight of medicine now loh. Seriously, it make me puke loh!!!! );

Ha whatever lah! My stupid body, my stupid health >.<

PS: Pls don't mock at people agony. I don't think it is funny at all.

Tmr back to work already, i think i should stop taking MC already if not i would fall into the black listed side for MC queen!!! The previous time sick one time jiu take 5 days mc le + today 1 day, Total 6 days MC liao within 2 wks. Awww enough.

Dedicated to that someone*

2009-10-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

Everything in work is ALRIGHT, so far so good at the moment. Nobody disturb, and we are able to work in peace V.V

13th going for the IR job fair at Suntec (;

Shall update again ^^

2009-10-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

On 1 wk MC !!!!!!!

The doctor very generous right? I don'tknow does i really need so many days to recover or not?
I hope nope. But base on the situation my head is so pain now, i don'tknow how long it will last?
I can't even move my head, just feel tat my head is so heavy. );
On the other hand, i have got my Ipod Touch !!!! (; It's something to be happy over as i have been craving over it for so long. But i don't feel a least happy at all.
I don't even feel like touching it, i din even go figure out how to use and so on. Perhaps, my head is killing me. I don't have any mood for it.

I'm prepared for the outcome when i am back to work. I know there's nothing good. But i don't give a damn of it, in that damn company there's no good soul. Everyone is BAD !!!!!!
This is the worse company i ever work before!!! Trust me!! T1 scuk !!!!!!!!!
anyw, im prepared to leave. So for fcuk i bother so much ?? I don't give any damn if you wana issue me any L.O.W = letter of warning.
Even anyone on MC only, also have to deduct $ and acceed the amount of MC will kena L.O.W smmore kena LOW will deduct $ also. WTF everything oso deduct $, as though the pay they giv us like few thousands like that. Hell la!!
In my 5 mths plus working there i neva ever MC before. But tis time, only tat 1 time of sickness, i jiu MC for 5 days.... wth! I think acceed the amount of MC, i think is sufficient to get an L.O.W
In tis company, people only can die but can't afford to fall sick.

whatever la! my head is in sooo much pain now while typing tis! and in cold sweat!
head is spinning !!!!!!!! );

THAT ALL !!! end ~

2009-10-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back.............

Well, cut it short, i don't enjoy the trip at all. Cause stayin in Macau got nothing, totally nothing to see or shop. Just spend that half day in HK which is not enough lor. Nvm, nxt yr got chance then go back again lor. HAHAHA.

But it's really relaxing there at macau. No need to think abt work, no stress!!! Everyday just eat n sleep n shopping n play! SO RELAXING! now back to work, S.T.R.E.S.S is the only word ~ seriously i hate workin! I dont seem myself as a human over there in work. They dun seem to treat us as a human. Why can't they just stop all those biase against us & stop ill-treating us?! why? why just can't let us work happily??? I really don't understand.

Everyone is the same race. CHINESE. Yet they are against their own races ppl, yet showing favouritism toward indian ppl. Why? Why don't he go marry those indian ppl instead? I really hate it & seriously he is not fix to be our T.L such a person who is so cunning & black-hearted. I really hate him. Making us feeling unhappy in work.

That why i hate work so much. I don't like to work with those ppl !! they are so cunning and alws find faults in us even tho is not our fault. I just hate them so much !!!! fucking hate it!!!!

ahhhhhh ~ forget it, either i change team or i resign, that it!! I don't wana stay in Bravo team !!!!!!!! In this team, everyone is not treated as human!! I am not happy working at here !!!!!! fucking disappointed.

enough of my venting lah ~ i dunno what to say already. Shall update again when i feel like.

I will upload one family photo & myself. More photos go to my fb see. Lazy upload !

tsktsk~

2009-09-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

Teehee ^^

Actually ytd gona blog la, but dunno why when i post up and edit and then save again, half of my post was gone -.- so delete all la! maybe i accidentally deleted without knowing also.. HAHAHA.
My pets in fb, will suffer for few days, no feeding it for 4 days. HAHAHA~

i would have tons of pictures to upload when i m back fm my H.K trip (;

Flying off tmr morning, will be back on 29th night! ;D

BYES !!~ xDD

2009-09-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Hey gals out there,

do visit: http://herdaintybelle.livejournal.com/. Nice dress =)) do visit and show support! ^^

Have create more then enough troubles in work. Seriously, can't stay on too long! And also heard that once tender resignation, they will tortured you before you leave.
Really, why must they do that? Against ppl they dislike, they can do many harsh thing toward you. What kind of deployment is this? Really disappointed, seriously disappointed!

Five more days to H.K trip ;DD

Cheers (;

2009-09-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo in love in this Ipod Touch. ^^

would get it no matter what by Oct' ;D

Hearing lots & lots of job and fun in the Resort World Sentosa. The singapore first biggest casino located at Sentosa. Actually wana apply for the Marina Bay casino but it only open on 2010 Feb which is still quite long. Located at sentosa the casino will open early 2010'. I think the training is about to start, no idea whether they still hiring or not. shall try my luck (;

i wish to work there so much :D

working now in certis cisco really suck! :/ be in the deployment or the staff, everyone is holding on to the 'BALLS' of the Teamleader & Pier Supervisor!

which totally i can't tahan. I shouted & talk back to my pier supervisor today! I really can't tolerate him for creating troubles everytime. I simply can't tolerate. Everyone was shock that i talk back, saying i was so aggressive. Normally i very quiet type, the moment i open my mouth, they was shock. I admit i am those quiet type but whoever who goes over my limit, i don't think i can shut my mouth off. I want to get back my right! I can't let them climb over our head lor.

they simply suck!

ok whatever! i shall not elaborate so much. Since i have already vent out today by shouting back at him (;

They are not fix to be TL or even pier sup! Misusing power would only let ppl hate you all more. No one like you all lah.

I am done.

2009-09-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

I just simply get piss off in work the whole day.

I can't understand, why are own ppl fighting against each other? Everyone is of the same boat, why can't they work together hand in hand, work in peace? We are of the same team, now cause of one fcuking bitch, causing so much unhappiness.
We are all coming here to work, definitely would want to be happily working instead of seeing each other black face everday and start quarreling here and there.
I simply hate the management or deployment i could say, they just simply showing biase against some ppl, and want to make us work till die by giving us more work load. It isn't fair at all lah. Hey everyone is human, you think by giving more workload is a way to torture us lah? Don't like somebody is not in this way. And give lesser workload to those ppl they like. That favouritism ! That is not the way how deployment should work and treat their staff like a dog ! Fcuk you all lah.
My own team recently get into some troubles, gossip is spreading everywhere. Why the bitch can't shut their mouth off, ownself do mistake yet don't admit but go around spreading rumours saying it's our fault. We speak the true & facts, we don't talk behind your back, we respect you ok?! Yet this is what we get back from you, backstabbing us & spreading rumous around about this and that. Fcuk you lah. You think you have deployment backup ah? Even though have already bring up this matter to management, but i guess this matter won't ever be solve. Deployment is just doing their work in this way all along. Staff which they don't like will suffer, if management take action on them, i guess the staff will die more terrible billion of time.
Bringing up to management does not take affect on those evil ppl, but instead it'll bring more troubles to ourself, so this type of place is consider as a hell. Why am i still staying in this hell place? I am asking myself. Ok fine Oct 13th, my bond will end. Dun care by wad, i not going to stay on in this fcuking place. It's torturing my braincell.

To hell you go, to those evil people. Kindly get your brain works and stop all those nonsense.

You would get your retribution one day and hopefully your two sons will treat you in such way in the future, you better watch out.

By then, i would definitely laugh my head off ........

and say, YOU DESERVE IT, BITCH !!!

2009-09-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well, everything have come to an end. Instead, i feel glad.

So, let put a full stop to it. (; I am feeling much more relieve and feeling much more happier and relax without any stress.
ps: cause of you, i have ended everything, stop been so biase against malay already can or not?

快乐是自己的事，只要自己愿意，就可以快乐,没有人能让你不快乐,除非你自己不想快乐！

;DD

2009-09-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

Tears still flow whenever we mention it.

Infront of him, i don't ever dare to speak the truth. I don't wana hurt him. Seeing him tears, my heart sank. That make me tears too. I feel very guilty for making him tears.

That what make me lose the courage to tell him, lost for words.

But if there is anything to do with him, i can see the anger from my mum face. I don't wana make her angry. But really, i dunno what to do. I noe she can't accept him, i know it. I don't expect her to accept. Even the sun rise from another side, she still won't accept.

Why the hell he love me so much for? why he refuse to let me go?

I may sound totally heartless, but i am doing all this for both our good. I don't wana end up one day we hurting each other more then now. He say if he die, then everything will settle? What for he say that? does it settle everything? Does he think of the consequences? I will only feel guilty. If die could solve everything, i think im no longer living in this world le.

Why can't he just pain for the moment, and maybe as time past. It could ease away all the pain.

I feel i sound so heartless, sound like im fooling with him. But im not. I seriously love him. But think of all these issue, i really must be firm and heartless to him.

And at the same time, i don't want lose my family. Bf lose already can find another one. Family there's only one in ur whole life. Isn't it? he too don't wana lose him family. That apply to both of us. Family is the most impt to us.

Seriously, i don'tknow what to do now. Friend around have been telling me short pain better then long pain. Yes yes, i know, i know! But well, hey u all should noe my character, i easily soft hearted by ppl word and scare to reject ppl, scare to hurt ppl with my straight words.

What should i do now? I guess noone can help me. );

I don't wana be sad, i don't wana be EMO ):

But .............. things just don't turn out the way which i expected.

I AM NOT HAPPY.

))))))))':

2009-09-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

In the memories of batch 02/09. Is everyone of you doing good now?

In work, i won't ever be emo or unhappy, cause i have those ppl who can make me smile, and a person who would hit me whenever he saw my face is unhappy. Idiot rite?
I don't have any biase against other races, not lyk some kind of ppl, show biase only. WTH.
That why i can get along well even with indian ppl, he's a very good guy. But he is very fierce, sometime show his fcuking attitude which make me hate him. HAHA! but well, he's a good friend still.
This job not bad, except for the night shift. I hate night shift. I swear if possible, next time i won't get myself a night shift job anymore. Even get a night shift job, at least must also have a proper place for us to rest at nite.

I m gona leave tis place after my bond finish. Which is 1 mth plus later. I don't have any good memories in this place la seriously. Cause tis place make me unhappy only.

Whatever it is. JUST SMILE (; 笑口常开嘛！哈哈哈！

2009-09-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

I want to blog soooooooooo much.

But I am just soooo lazy to do so, lazy to type long long phrase. Somemore, i dunno wad to blog. Got so many thinqs wish to say.
But hiding to myself maybe is better? I guess.

I am so tired, from work. This job i can't carry on anymore. Sooner or later, i will die from tis job! seriously, tis job *shake head* >.< don'tknow how to say. If i say my life suck, i hate my life so much! Maybe out of somewhere, someone may think that i deserve all this. May laugh at my foolish-ness. But so what if my life is suck? I am still spending my days happily everyday. As long as i am happy, other thing doesn't matter! (;

Alright, tat all !! Sharon, i lazy to blog so often leh, don't keep reminding me tat my blog is rotting ok? ;x thanks uh! (; cya on 14th then. *winks

;DD

PS: thanks uh, laopo for forgiving me (; ilu!*

2009-08-30T01:30:00.000-07:00

Alright, i just did not blog for 7days, not that long yea!

my blog won't rot so fast de, don't worry lah kae sharon? ;D

I am trying very hard not to be emo, not to be sad, but to be happy. But guess that i won't ever be happy anymore. I have ruin myself with my both hand liao yea? that sad! );

I don't even know use what words to describe my feeling, my life. What a fcuk up life I have now. Yea i think cz of my past, I deserve all this now. Thank god for giving me such a life now.

I don't blame anyone, but myself.

What else i can do now? except to stay happy as i can. (;

I am such a fcuk up fren as well lah, anyway SORRY to my bitchyyyyyy! :/

VIETNAM woman is sexy & wonderful. No wonder someone can be with so many viet womans before. Seeing those viet flight, those woman is sooooo sexy & big boobs yea?

don't be tooo flirt yah? careful of those dirty illness lah dey!

i wonder are you still with viet woman now? But well, not my prob ~! go ahead and flirtttttt. Guy what, sure flirt what, if nt flirt then not guy already rite?

AND working suckkkkkkkkkkkk to the max !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don'tknow what else to blog liao, my life everyday is working working still working. Nothing elseeeee! work suck la seriously. Somemore working w those ppl which i hate to the max... suay lah.. see liao also siannn lah. Work with them lagi more sian lah !!!!!

I won't be blogging often yea? Nothing much to update also. Perhaps, till im back frm my h.k trip bahs?

Seriously, i miss those days with them. Draft Cargoways Pte Ltd~ I miss you all badly. I miss those happy days we have. Those laughter those fun we have every single day. Those past ~ Do you all miss me? I wonder.

2009-08-23T00:25:00.000-07:00

For goodness sake, seriously i do not know what I am doing right now. Seem that i am forcing myself to do something out of my own will. Which is something quite torturing and miserable.
I am damn upset right now. Maybe i should not have walk this path right from the start. I didnt even see clearly then i fall into this trap. Damnit!
Right now, 我真的是开不了口。Really really, i don'tknow how to put it. I think i still need more time. But why do i keep on hurting ppl around me?
Hiding inside my heart really very xinku.. but i really don'tknow what to do now );
I don'tknow who to confide in right now. There's no one there to listen! ); who can understand how i feel right now? I guess none.
Out of impluse, im always making thing worse! Out of expectation, it gone case.
Why am i always facing this type of fcuking problems? When then i can grow more mature and stop create so much probbb?? It's enough! My brain is cracking!

I am not been emotional right now. Just feeling damn piss off and fed-up. Put yourself in my shoe, and you would understand how i feel now.
Regardless of fren or rs. I am alway creating troubles. Am i that useless? I won't force anyone to stay by my side. Even is my most loved fren, the one i treasured the most! But it's stil not up to me to decide. However, i wish that there's a day, they will be back to me. I don't wana lose anyone of you. Get it?

Work is driving me crazy tooooo lah!! im getting sick of this bloody job and damn pissssssssss off with it~
Gona resign once my bond is up, im not going to stay on to this damn fcuking shyting job!
Don'tknow use what word to describe my feeling right now. I guess no word could ever use to describe my fcuking shyting feeling now! Damnit!

Ok, enough is enough. When can all this thing stop?? I can't take it anymore.

我真的真的累到喘不过气了。放过我好吗？求求你!!!

我真好累啊!! )))))));

2009-08-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

不要再逼我说我不想说的话了。

真的不懂要用什么话来形容我现在的心情。一句话：我后悔了。

I don't get it, why must i sacrifice so much? For what? Now then i realise ........ in e past I am ignorance.
I got my own religion, I am a buddhism. I am not a free thinker like my laopoYY, so she have no worries!
I respect my own religion. I like my own religion. There's no reason for me to change it!
I don't wana change! I wana be myself. He have his own religion, me too! I don't want end up that i disrecpect my own religion! Or end up losing my own family in any ways! No, definitely NO!

我是华人，我要做华人，永远的华人。

2009-08-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

Sometime guy are sooooo fuck up !!

Even it is referring to my bf....
He say that he can look at other girl, even though he look at girl but he only love me!
So my reaction was like, oh so i can look at other guy also lah, look only wad, my heart still love you only!
His reply to tis was, No cannot! you cannot look at other guy, u must remember u got bf want ok?

hello! i was like wth, he can look at gal but i can't look at guy. He also have gf want ok, why he can look at gal leh? sometime guy are really soooooo...... (no words to describe lah)

This are just our casual talking, yet i get this out from him.

Guy are such a bastard.

2009-08-17T00:40:00.000-07:00

Why do the blogger only recover at this hours?

Tomorrow when i open up again, it will be spoil, WTH! stupid blogger ! Am not going to emphasis much thing, till next time when i got the mood + the blogger nt giving any prob!

Shall blog again next time round yah. This shall be a short post only! feel too sick to blog too much anyway!

shooooo~

Many thinqs have happen recently, which have spoil my mood totally and causes me to be sick. After tearing, right after my tears stop, i fall sick. Sound ridiculous. Tears could make me sick, but it's true ;/ well, shall not disclose too much lar hor, since it's such an unhappy incident. Let me cool down first yah! And hope that i will get well soon.

I don't wana be sick chix anymore lah..

I love my bitchyyyy! she's the best of the best ! I love her for who she is, and always and forever. She is just sooooooo great!

Much LOVES*

2009-08-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

I wish i was dead.

Don't wana think about it, don't wana bother about it anymore.
Don't wana get torture by all those shye anymore.
How i wish everything did not happen before.
I don't wana face all those shyt alone!!!!!!! Can you imagine how big blow is it, till im sick now! );
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!

How i wish i was dead.

2009-08-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

HAPPP BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE ! ;D

I don't believe in Forever love.

To say that u love a person forever, are u just saying for the sake of saying? Who noe wad might happen in the future down the road? To say forever, might as well just cherish what you have now. Don't think of those unneccessary thing which make u troubled. Save troubles.
He say: to love him forever. As a gf, definitely to avoid hurting him of course you would say you will love him forever. But deep inside ur heart, you are thinking, future is still so far away. How can possible say love him forever?
Just cherish NOW, the love you all have now.
I know i love him, now! If nothing goes wrong, forever love is still possible. Why not? A girl happiness is to find a guy who truly love her.
I know he is the ones (;

Aiyohh, don't know why blogger so much prob nowaday. Sometime is ok, but sometime can't even change font colour/size & post up pic. Faster solve the prob lah blogger!! ;/

Satisfied life with him around (;

2009-08-03T23:45:00.001-07:00

What past have already past, i know! 2yrs, long memories but it have become only part of my memories now.

Wishing him happiness in his new life & all the best!
I should cherish my present, my future.
I must stop thinking of the past and live on happily with him now. Isn't?

I know i can do it (;

well, 我是快乐的 ((;

2009-08-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

I am terrible upset now!~ im n0t been emo, say infront first.

Say so much, even how many round back. Also blame it on my fcuking bad memories!!!!!!! firstly is abt my jing big day. Then another one is my deariie. I dunno m i been sensitive or not, bt i guess u'r been unhappy w me. But that wad i feel. I forget to tell u im been attached, onli after 1mth plus then tell you. But seriously, i really forget, i tot i told u before, when i didn't even tell you before.
I'm really so sorry! frm ur sms, i can sense that u'r unhappy. we been deariie so long, dun tell me i still can't tell the diff in ur sms when u'r angry. Terrible upset now.
I know u might think that i dun cherish tis frenship or wad, hw come didnt tell you. But pls belief me, i really forgotten n i tot i told u b4. But i think u might nt belief me. But it's true. My ex colleagues all knew it. I alws forget everything even tho it's an impt matter.
I have tried to remember thing. I have tried not to forget thing so easily. Even just a min later i could just simply forget wad im supposed to do. Why? feel like crying soooo much now! );
I do cherish this frenship, our sistership/deariie. Sometime i might offend u, but i don't mean it seriously. I cherish you this deariie.
I hope our relationship bond would be strong. I wana be with you for life.
I say so much, does it help? i dunno! Deariie, ILU!

Fcuking angry w my stupid brain now!!! As my previous post mention, i dun wish any frenship to be ruin just cause of my fucking bad memories!
First is my jing, second is my deariie! Both is the person i cherish most. But guess i disappoint them the most too!
If i can even forget thing which i promise my fren, they might think that i don't cherish e frenship at all, how come can forget such big thing ?
I really really dunno why i am like that? really really feel lost now.

cry* why my memories so bad? why why why??????!!!!!!!!! I do not wish to see there's a day when i lose any of my fren cz of my fuckingggg memories!
I'm so disappointing in myself right now!!!!! no one to blame but myself.

why am i like that? Really just wish to dig out my brain and throw it on e floor, and just step it terrible hard to destroy it.

Such a useless brain still need it for wad fcuking use!!!??

I have no mood to blog already. Actually have many thing to say. Never mind forget it.
Fcuking bad mood now!

像我这种人，活在这世界上还有什么用呢？

2009-07-31T00:25:00.000-07:00

I really dunno what to say now..

I'm damn angry.. damn angry with myself.. why do i keep repeating the same mistakes? last time like that, now still like that.. few years already still no change.
why do i keep forgetting thing? how can i forget such an impt day? i alw tend to have appointment on certain date already then a while ltr i totally forgotten abt it and put in another appointment on e day! then when i remember liao den i start to panic..dunno wad to do..now i oso like that again~!
damn shye it! i did a mistakes again..hais.. feeling damn guilty.. very sad..in work keep thinking n thinking..cause till i no mood lor.. now i dun even have the courage to tell her..i really scare she will scold me.. she's my jingjing..my gd sister!! her big day smmore.but now i can't go.. i noe she will scold me for sure.. but i hope she won't blame me..
in my ex company, gt who dunno my memories is the most bad want..alws forget thing la..promise ppl thing already then promise another ppl thing..I really totally forgotten abt tis la...onli tis morning then remember bt everything is too late. i feel sooooo bad!
so many years still no change..

i really feel so sad now.. i really want to apologise to her! I am so sorry! i really hate myself for been sooooo forgetful..when can my tis habit change? or is it natural want.. i born out to be so forgetful??
hais.. wad to say?
guilty, sad, worried. Worried that she would be angry w me! i love her want de!
It's such an important day & yet i destroy it with my own hand. I really feel sooo sad lah.. keep bothering by this till now still no courage to tell her by right i shld tel her nw already.. I noe she'll b damn sad v sad aft i told her...im really sooooo sorry!!

pls tell me wad to do.. i sooooo scare... haisss..

can anyone teach me how to be not so forgetful anymore?? I don't want to destroy any frenship cause of my tis stupid habit!!!!

ahhhhhhhh!!!!! );

对不起，晶晶！我爱你！);

2009-07-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

It have been so long since i last blog.

well blame it on the blogger. Blogger having prob which cause me can't blog leh.
Recently, just visited the doc for a very stupid illness. Or can't say is a illness lah.
My ass suffer alot. Internal bleeding inside my ass. What causes it? I dunno, maybe is the stools which causes it. There is wound inside my ass, and it bleed whenever i am shitting. That's sad.
Doc given me a medicine, but it's use to insert into my ass. A pill to insert into the ass every nite before i sleep.
Seriously, i think it gross to the max. Whenever, my mum insert it into my ass, inside my heart 'i would be screaming'
还纪得小时候每一次发烧时，医生就会给那种药塞進屁股里面的，但那时还小嘛还不懂事。现在那么大了要把药塞進屁股里面我觉得真的好'disgusting'

Whatever it is, just hope that i would recover soon :/

Shall not blog tooo much, not in much mood to blog. Oh ya, and seriously i look like a nerd with a spec. Look like those kind of decent ppl. It look so weird to me.

BYE ALL~!

2009-07-16T23:45:00.000-07:00

Dear all,

I have nothing to post up today actually. Maybe just a random post lah. Went out with F4 today for dinner. ^^ when is the last time four of us went out ah? was like dunno how many donkey years ago lah >.<

and bought myself a spec today -.- i really can't imagine how would i look like with a spec. Surely look like a nerd sia.. But i think i will only wear it when im working nite shift..

wearing contact lens is sooo pain, especially while working nite shift.

the spec cost me $270.. actually is $278.. but my laopo yy bargain till $270.. haha, i knoe la laopo i owe u one meal.. but onli $8 discount.. should bargain for more wad.. lol..

i think im such a fussy customer, want this spec but dun want the len so big, dun want square shape.. want smaller len, want pink colour somemore! LOL..

I am soon becoming a nerd when i wear the spec.. >.<

Ohh yah~ and i got a personal massager *giggles*

Okie lah, got nth much to say already. But will post up some old pictures.. i mean maybe few mths or years ago pic.. A kind of memories of US 'F4.. BFF~

Laopo anna~ 17yrs of friendship. woot~! Laopo yy & sharon~ 9yrs of friendship. Yay~!

I've seen friends coming in and out of my life, only a few stays. And those are th people i really treasure. Altho there's no forever, but i'll treasure every moment i have ;D

I love him* ;DD

2009-07-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

Yes, and that damn thing is out of my life. YAYNESS* ;D

If only my team members everyday remain unchanged, i would simply say i really enjoy working. If not, then fcuk them. I am not happy working at all.
Don't even know why T1 is so fcuk up sia!
Was thinking of switching to other job in airport. Which is those airline staff under CIAS or SATS. But come to know that the pay wise is lower then what i am earning now. Sigh.
Another choice is APO which is Airport Police Officer. Have the thinking of joining that but awww, heard that the job is damn tough *.* Aiyoh.

My colleagues, a malaysian gal work lots of OT, and with basic only $900, but add up all the allowance + OT, she got back around $2k plus sia.. which is damn lots. One gd point is she no nid deduct cpf which is a advantage. work how much take back how much!
never ever expect working here can earn so much. But don't apply to me, i am just too lazy to work so much ot. But how i wish i can be so hardworking like her. Laughs!
Smtime can't do ot leh, need to company bf. So well, sacrifices loh. And off day come back work got double pay leh, but i need to meet fren. Awwww, maybe i can consider leh, i want earn more!!!!!! hahahs!
Recently, i ot quite lots, and many get shock how come suddenly i so hardworking = = LOL..

3 more mths, before my 6 mths contract ended. Should i continue or ???

ehss, should i continue? *confused* >.<

Oh yahs, many countries in my mind which i plan to go. HongKong- Macau, Bangkok, Taiwan, Bali, etc........ forget the name liao. everyday see so many ppl go oversea, im so tempted >.<
how long must i work then got the engh $ to go so many countries = =
I just wana enjoy my everyday in work, and the companion w bf whenever we are together, time is alws not enough for us sia.. working time crash. soooo well, just treasured the time we have (:
Hope the choice i make is right ;D

3 hrs more for me to catch some sleep. Gona be up at 4am. Ot in the morning again = = must i be so chiong anot sia? but i just enjoy working early in e morning ^^

Nights all ;DD

2009-07-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

Which wire of my mind is wrong inserted ah??? -insert confused face-

I don't seem why there's a need for me to bother about it or even feel piss off bout it. Why should i be bother bout tis kind of ppl?
I should not even think of that bloody issue lar. Yar lah, everything is my fault. BUT SO WHAT? who started to be rude first? Laugh. i think you are e one who need reflect on urself then me.
You pls fcuking go and see back ur msg. YOU RUDE OR I RUDE? don't freaking come and fcuk me which u think is my fault when it's NOT.
I can ans you, i seriously don't mind if halfway during my slp and someone sms me while my phone sound is ON! It's perfectly alright with me, also not say it never happen before to me. SO WHAT WRONG WITH IT??????
I don't seem why shld u be so agitated about it????
Your this sentence 'You think everyone work at stupid hours like you?' & 'You only know how to scold CB, i know u have but dun need to tell whole world'.
HEY, i don't care whose fault is this!!! but is it right in the first place for you to even send those kind or msg???

I don't care what u think. I don't care if u think it's my fault. But overall, you are the one in e wrong for sending those kind of msg. You should be the ones who need to bloody go and reflect on yourself!!!!!!!!!
I don't care whether u r piss off or not after seeing this. It's not my fucking prob. Come on if you wana scold me back or fcuk me back. BY ALL MEANS!!! You choose to piss me offfffff ~ so that it. Don't blame me for my words.

Whatever it is, i don't think i need to be bother about this kind of person. Such person does not exist in my world.

FCUK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF !!!!!!!!~ ley irritating!!!!!!

2009-07-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

Can't help but been EMO~ once again.

want to highlight that, i regret all my doings in e past. But well, say already is 'past', so what the use of regretting now?
Might as well look forward to the future right? But well, i don't seem to have any future, i mean i can't even see my own future at all. So how am i going to look forward?
I do not know whether this time have i make the right choice? I really don't know. Have been hearing alot alot. It greatly affect me still, but i seem don't bother abt it after a shortwhile.
Does it worth it? Do i really have to sacrifise so much for this rs?
Is he really worth my sacrifise?? FIRST TIME, ever first time. I am afraid, so scared~ at times, i would cried in the dark & noone to turn to.
I never imagine that i would walk this kind of path. It's so hard to overcome it.

I would give myself time & observe carefully. I would not want to fall from so high after i climb up so high.
well well, diff ppl diff opinion. For young ppl, love a person why not go ahead & ignore other ppl words. But for elderly ppl they might say, want to love a person jiu love a person who share the same thinking or religion as us. If not, in future the person who die is ur ownself.
which categories does i belong to? whose side shall i listen to?
Billy mummy have tell me alot. What she say is all true, all make sense. I understand. But well is still up to me to decide. No matter what, future is mine.
I know if i choose this road, infuture i might suffer alot ............................ but..

still, in my heart of course i hope i have make the right choice.
Tomorrow will be better, stop my emo-ing already lah. -.- I need more strength for tomorrow.
15 hrs work tml sia.. 7am - 10pm.

True love are hard to find n keep, most impt is how u feel abt this guy, other ppl doest matters. Gd or bad is always too early to say.. ppl change. I dun mind to convert if i found tat someone.
- Saying from Irene -

I seem to feel better after hearing this sentence from her. (: Glad that she don't blame me anymore for the past issues.
She have make my mood feeling better. Hahas, din expect that. Thanks duh.

Love him. Love her.
^.^

2009-06-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

went ice skating today !!!!!! ;DD

with my girlfriends. With their so called 'force', i manage to learn how to skate today. As in i can skate without holding the handrail, i can skate in the center with them, of course i hold on tight to them lor -.- i'm still so afraid to fall. Have fell down twice today :/

was perspire all the way while skating sia. Lame right, inside was freezing yet i was sweating -.-

guess cz i was trying very hard to balance myself, using to much strength that y having cold sweat. hahahs..

i think only 60% know how to skate. The remaining 40%, i need more practice.

I hope the next skating session i can learn how to skate already. Cause i want to learn rollar blade also lah, last tym learn liao still CMI -.- i guess if noe iceskating, maybe rollar blade will b easier la hor, as all is about balancing.

anyone want ice-skating ? hahas. laopo's ???

ONE MORE THING.. i hate my job. I think after 6mths i want to leave already. Why 6 mths? cause there's a 6mths contract. Damn it right!

i hate the night shift!! And the most hate hate hate is since working here, i do not have time for other thing at all. Do not have any fix off day. I wana continue my dancing also cannot!!! it's so irritating. I miss dancing.

maybe i think too afar, i wish there's a day i can stand on stage to dance! those hiphop dance.....

awww, damn it, damn to this stupid job. hate it damn terrible much!!!!

aiyah, say so much, who ask me in the first place butt itchy, go join tis bloody job!!!! damn lah.

haisss!!!! im soo freaking tired, tis job causes me to lose sleep during nite shift.

Simply can't even fall aslp, and got to spend that few hrs doing nth! lame shyee!!!

awwww! how i wish there's 26hrs in a day. 24hrs seem not enough. Don't even have engh time for me to complete what i ought to.

I need time. TIME TIME TIME! time is so precious to me now. And i can only meet my fren once a week, was like need queueing. this week this fren, next week tat fren. awww! not engh time lah. Time is so rushhhhh now!!~

Can the god turn this world into 26hrs in a day? or 28 hrs or 30hrs? I just need that few hrs more and it will be enough.

I misssssssssssssssss those days. I miss those fun, seriously. Feeling sad lah dey! ):

where is it ????

2009-06-22T23:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know how should i say?

What word to describe my feeling right now? I'm confused..really confused now! Been hearing alot, and been affected by it too.
I know i should not have think so much, since this is the choice i have make.
But can i really hang on and ignore wad everyone have say? Can i stay firm and listen to my heart and preserve all e way?

Can love really overcome everything? where have the true love gone?
Why am i been shake by everyone words? I so so so no confidence at all, perhaps. Why am i been moved so easily? Why do i have to scare this scare that? WHY?
Why am i feeling sad cause of this matter??
Who do i stick my head in already, then started to think so much then tremble? what is the use now?

I know i should not bother too much, as long as i am happy.

but why is there still so much ''words'' running inside my mind??

why do i still think so much?

i think....cause i scare! really scare.. I need a pills to cool myself down now.

Those scare-ness, make my heart feel so down now.
Haizzzz.......

2009-06-19T12:35:00.000-07:00

well well, eh eh .. let talk about work again -.-

hmmm.. well have met all kind of passengers. *shake head* those unreasonable, ridiculous, petty, buay-song, proud ppl. wah, like go take plane very big like that! -.-
most angry is those passenger when u screen them or check their bag, they was like why are we checking their bag, why shld we check their bag?
And got some items which they can't bring on-board, n we got to throw it away. They was like at there KPKB!! at there show their attitude their anger on us and shouted. And say no no, we can't throw their thing. Was like hello, ownself bring those not-allowed items and definitely we as security got to discard away lah, what wrong!
before they check in, i think they should noe clearly what they are allow to bring & what they are not allow to bring.
want to board the plane le, then at there shout us got what use. see their face oso feel like punching them.
if outside work ah, i see this kind of ppl i sure raise my voice & shouted back at them lor! at work, no matter how passenger scold us or shouted at us, we could only explain & smile back. GST- greet, smile, thank. We could not even raise our voice louder abit lor, ltr they sure shoot letter up & complaint us, end up we kena only.
wtf, like idiot la.. let ppl like that scold us and we can't even do anything.. not fair sia..
take plane only ma, where big.. buy airticket v expensive so what sia.. can anyhow scold ppl meh.. v big meh??!!! idiot lor..
well, no matter what!!! it's still part of work. Accept it lah dey!

saving money now. wana buy camera. And my trip on Oct. 4 mths more to the trip. Long sia.. nvm, very fast de. haha!

working is sian !!! but smtime very thrilling & exciting & challenging. ((:

14th June'09. A day to remember. (:

Meeting my laopo's next weeeeek !!!!! ;D

Labels: I am no longer like in the past anymore. I have grown up!

2009-06-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well, seem to have many thing to say BUT ..

I dunno how to say, or what should i say!? confused, totally confused.

let talk bout work. Now the handheld, i'm doing till damn fast, super fast, even my in-charge also stun & shock >.< how come i scan so super fast even faster then him !! -.- last time i do slow, he ask me do faster. Now i do faster, he say i do damn super fast -.- WTH.
maybe do fast not that good either, later hit the passenger then die lah. Or if during intrution, i sure fail. Ok lah, now i know liao I have to slow down already.
And also, im very tired. Night shift really kill me. Never slp in the nite and tahan till morning 6am & got to start work again till 10am. well, i'm totally restless. I experience of giddyness & sign of vomits. I does not know why either. Head is spitting apart. My health is getting worst, that what i can say.
Who can i blame? I chosen this job & got to hang on for 6 mths. Now not even 1mth yet. Ohmy! 5 mths more to go!!
Pls pray that my body will still be in full after 6mths.

Feel that got many thing to say, but just does not know how to say. Anyw, my life now is peaceful & happy. Altho is not perfect, but i does not feel anymore sadness. I does not cry anymore like in the past. My heart is harden now, i don't drop anymore tears. Not like in the past, abit jiu cry till dunno what.
I am so proud of myself (:

The warm, yet i do not feel anything. Not at all, no feeling. Totally NOTHING! Am i still a human?
I do not wants to become totally cold-blooded one day.

I am just pinning on to something, which does not have any ending.

Labels: It's just not right, something seem to be missing.

Sayonara ^^

2009-06-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

Maybe we were not meant to be.

爱一个人不一定要佣有他，只要他快乐，你也会快乐。

我想，我是想太多了。

还是，算了吧！

我还是快乐的。(:

2009-05-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

I enjoy been in work !! ~ at least i am not alone, haa.. got so many companions.

I love my team members !!!~ ;D they are so fun to be with. And just cause of one idiot, causes all the team have to change in-charge everyday!!! @.@ everyone so unhappy lor >.<
hais but no choice yea !
everyday pass so fast, damn fast. 12hrs pass very fast in work lor, haha! have start working in airport abt 2wks.. everyone was like asking me how's e work lah, is the work gd anot lah and so on.... I only got one answer.. Now it's too early to tell, to early to comment anything abt tis job, maybe till 1 mth then will feel something abt tis job. LOL..

so far, tis job still ok lah >.< ok only !!!! not very gd, not very bad also.. NO COMMENTS !!! ~

lack of sleep, every nite shift not sleeping. lack of water, cause i seldom drink water except soft drink which not counted lah.
Lack slp, lack of drinking plain water. My pimples is popping out lah, f*** sia !!!!!!! hais.... ):

everyday is so tired lehhh !!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!

Labels: Even it's just that one glance.

2009-05-28T22:25:00.000-07:00

不在乎天长地久，只在乎成经佣有。

Did i write correctly the words above ? x; aiyah! whatever!

Those sentence does not apply to me anymore. Yes, in the past maybe. But not now. I must respect myself. And not by letting other leading my way instead.
I should control my own feeling. I can do it.

I got tons & tons of thinqs to say, but i just does not know how to put it. Aiyah, forget it la!!
not saying le..

Labels: I just so scare. I won't let the same thinq happen again cause i don't want to live in a miserable world again and crying everyday.
I am not going to let myself fall into those shye again!!!

That all! ~ ciaos.

2009-05-26T01:05:00.000-07:00

Who the fcuk is this passby ??

passby: you choose the wrong road, and trust the wrong guy, dump your xbf, so you end up what you are now. Good luck in everything

hello, i choose what road what it got to do with you? who are you to comment me? I paid for what i have did.
I don't care who you are. You are in no right to comment ppl. Who are you? Pls leave down yr name. I don't welcome any passerby or whoever who is nameless.
I hate ppl hiding behind the comp like wad, and comment about other ppl.
what u mean by i dump my xbf, and trust the wrong guy!!! who are u to judge me? kindly leave down yr BIG NAME.
I am happy & satisfied with my life right now!!!! mind you.

apologise for my rudeness, cause i hate ppl tag and named themselves passerby.

If you are my fren, pls let me know who u are. If u are not, pls shut up and don't comment abt others ppl life.

Thankyou.

2009-05-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

This job suck !!!!!!!!!!!!

working hrs to long !! one of my batch guy told me.. cause of alws work work work.. n been less time w his gf.. now turn out his gf say some sort like want to break off.. cause no feeling..
cause of this work, already very tired even off day also will lazy to go out.. where will got time to spend w gf/bf ??
WTH !!!!!! 12 hrs.. haisss !!

It's ripping people life away !!!!!!

Damn it man !!! ~

this work is suckkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!!!!!!!!! ewwwwww !!!!!!!

2009-05-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

Had started my work like about 1 wk ?

How is everything? Fine, i guess. The working clique is still okay. Everything fine so far.
Following this room-in-charge for 6 days. well, no comment. I dunno what to say either. what is what? Just feeling so confused anw >.<
no matter what, die die have to stay in this job for 6 mths !!!!!! ???? who noe after 6 mth i might stay on or i will leave ? noone know!

time passes so fast in work. 12 hrs just like 6 hrs like that. Smtime wana do ot, but im just too tired for it. im starting to get used to the long hrs of standing. I can still remember my first day of work, i was like dying, leg pain hand pain whole body pain as first tym standing for 12hrs >.< was like thinking die lar first day jiu like tat le. Haa, but now thing is getting better.
I am not feeling any of body aches or leg pain anymore.
Have get used to the long hrs standing i guess. The more torturing part for me is mid nite shift lar. Shye one lar.
Have a few hrs of break in the mid nite. everyone was finding place to slp, and all slping soundly lar. And me tis idiot altho very tired, but i could not even fall asleep at all outside.
Thinking how am i going to survive thru out the nite.
But thank god, i still survive!! (:
Haa, it really damn miserable i tell you. Tired yet can't fall aslp. Wondering how can other fall aslp so fast har?

I am feeling so stupid, or am i losing concentration in work har? Alws kena say by my r.i.c. about my doing. Maybe for me i don't take thing seriously, that why! while doing frisking, smtime i can do well yet smtime i do like shye! once kena praise by the t1 in-charge who is doing audition of my ric, and he saw me doing and he praise me of 'well done' on my handheld.
After which, i think i doing like shye lar! I am doing better now as in i can scan damn fast which during operation i must do fast. but dunno why is it cause of holding too much and causes hand pain lar, then i tend to off the switch ???
no beep sound. or am i holding too far from the passenger or i din place the handheld at the correct position ?? or wad har?? bet me toooo !!!!
Feeling so like shye lar! then doing manual bag. Smtime i couldn't even find what my ric wants. hais.. feeling so sad. smtime i can find, i was like so happy!
but at times, i dunno that items is it wad my ric wants or not? passenger bag inside was like ..........omg so many barang inside lar !!! >.<
I can do well if i want. If i put my full concentration in, i guess! As what the t1 in-charge who told my ric. That i do have the potential in doing well, but need to push me harder. I want to prove to myself. I am not stupid lar. I still do have the little intelligent. Do i ?

Lastly, i wana say I MISS ALL MY BATCH OF AVSO !!! at times when saw sm of my batch at t1, we was like so excited. Back in our study day at CA, we was nt close at all. But guess is due to the long period time of not seeing each other. Everyone was like so excited upon seeing each other. Haa seriously, i miss everyone!
......................................................................
; Billy, Haslina, Mastura, Kim, Shikin, Ella, Raja, Ivan, Jayson, Azmi, Rahman ................aiyah many many more. I forget their name already lar !! >.<
Anws, the batch of 02/09 AVSO pre-board. -I MISS EVERYONE OF YOU-
when then we can have chance of the whole batch been tgt once again!!!!! it's hard i guess. everyone was in diff terminal, diff shift smmore! ):

is there a saying that, even no matter how happy all of us is, but there's still one day everyone have to go their separate ways. That life, i guess!
But im not those type of hard hearted, i miss all of them seriously. Our 3 wks in police academy is a interested one. A memorable ones. Everyone is loved ! ~

I guess this post is quite long! Got to stop.

Will updates again when i feel like. So tired nowaday...

Pinning of hopes yet afraid of failure.

Labels: Is everything fated?

2009-05-20T02:15:00.000-07:00

Give me time to think about it ok?

u pop out tis qns so sudden, wad came into my mind is 'your fear toward me gone already'? i really afraid of the same thing to happen again.
and ur ans toward me is 'i dunno lei' if ur ans is dunno & yet u ask me tat qns. Does it mean in future there'll be chances of the same thing to happen again?

do u noe im really so scare?? I don't want to suffer the same thing again. it's so pain.

my ans to 1 of ur qns. Yes, I miss you.
can you ensure me tt the fear would be gone? I don't want any ans saying: u dunno.

my heart is jumping up & down now.. so scare.................u know??

2009-05-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow back to work.. >.<

ahhhh !!! sian, another tiring week to go thru again. Think of night shift, so sian. Hearing diff thing from diff ppl, dunno will my batch be going over to ICA anot. or maybe wil stay on pre-board. Both have their each advantage & disadvantage. At least ica no night shift sia.. work night shift so tiring lar. ahhh, hais sian lar.. working here is good if only have someone who can get along well with you.

and i found someone ............
getting pretty well with him. Previous post mention my in-charge. I love to call him uncle !!!! not cause he's old.. but serve him right, keep pocking & tickling me !!! idiot sia..

I should at least put slow my footstep and conti my life. Pausing at one place does not bring me to anywhere instead lead me to more hurts. I wana lead on with someone who i can trust on, who can accept me for who i am, does not despite me or having any fears in me when anything happen.
It's near yet so far. Everything is fate. targetting.... but have i shoot the arrow to the wrong person? I don't even trust myself.

still, i wana stay happy everyday.

Labels: the smell is arousing in me. It remind me of you.

2009-05-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

So tired this two night.

Very tired, really soo tired. Doing night shift is so tiring. Din get to slp. I can't able to doze off outside at all.
Have to make myself awake thru out the whole night.
But luckily this two nite, i have a great team-mates. And a room in-charge who i can get along very well. Was together with him all the way this two nite.
Spending those two nite, walking here & there, and he is finding space to slp. And i was bored as i don't slp outside. So i was disturbing him while he's sleeping. HAHAHAS. and smthing small happen. Shall not reveal too much x;
But I am really happy working with him, even tho during operation he is fierce but he mean well (: He don't scold ppl, which is a gd thing.. LOL
Anyw, he is a great guy. But won't get to alws be in his team. So if there's any chance again, hope to be in his team yah.

Actually got so much thing to say abt my work, but while facing the screen now, i'm wordless.
haiz, i am too tired i guess.
oh yah, and was in the same group with one of my ex colleague from macs last tym. Got to see her everyday. But don't talk much sia, got to see one sms from her today.
well, i have nothing to say. I dunno wad to say either. Laugh.

This two days off.. i can rest.

I am in no energy or mood to do anything right now, just feeling so tired.

I need more sleep.

Labels: I dread of it, yet it have happen again. God bless!

2009-05-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Just here to grumble ............ ahh!!

if there's no changes, tml start i would be wrking 12hrs shift. sian ah! It's still my first time doing night shift. Never ever work midnight shift before.
below this time only is this week de timing.

Tues - Wed : 10AM - 10PM (Morning shift)

Thur - Fri : 9PM - 9AM (Night shift)

Wkend - OFF !!! woooo~

Anyw, only temporary working at this dept. Maybe would change after wks or so. I dunno, no one know either.
Oh yah~! I am in T1. I don't like lar. I want work T3, i love disturbing my bears!! hahaha!
altho temp work here only, but oso would hope to work happily wad.

Azmi bear is my best buddy. Jayson bear is my punching bag buddy. I don't know why i so love to hit or beat jayson bear.. everytime i see him, he sure kena my punch or scratches causes by my long finger nails. x;
I just love disturbing them. LOL..It's good to have fun around to distress yay!!!

I am so tired.

I need to rest, need plently of rest.

Nights all ~

2009-05-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

Firstly,

I would like to stop myself from thinking so much of all those things which would greatly affect my mindset.

Those images would keep on flashing back into my mind. It affect me seriously, losing my concentration etc... I don't wish to think so much either but smtime i really can't stop my mind from thinking of it.. Seriously, it suck.

I don't wish to get bother by it cause i don't wish to be hurt. Not anymore.

That all i would say.

I told myself from now onwards, it won't appear anymore in my mind. I don't wana think about it anymore. Leave it to fate to decide.

Human tend to make mistakes. God would decide.

That what i tell myself, but can i really stop thinking? I know i would not, but then i will try to think lesser, that all i can do perhaps. Maybe the wound is too big, it take times to recover.

He have hurt me so much, but i won't blame him.

Maybe we were not meant to be. Friend is better then [:

Lastly, I MISS ALL MY COURSEMATES !!

we will be separated to diff terminal or diff gates. We won't be working tgt liao lah. I miss those days in police academy. I miss those times during our course held.

I love all my coursemate. They are so fun to be with.

...................

Many loves ♥♥

2009-05-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

I PASSED !!!!! hiahia ~

Feeling happy but sad as well. There's quite a numbers of failure in my class. I still tot all can pass sia.. Haizz..
I was so nervous during the test lor, the examiner shoot me w qns till very jialat lar.. Lucky i noe how to ans her back firmly with confidence and insist what i am saying is correct.
Anw, the examiner all is newbie lar. Can say we are their 'test pig' only. No wonder so many ppl fail lar. Even when we ans them, they also dunno we correct anot lar.. They still have to think, ehs ya correct lar hor >.<
Nvm, it's over. I feeling so relieve now. No more exam, no more stress!

My whole grp was been assign to the ICA. But ICA will only officially operate on 1st June. Today is only 8th May sia.. Still got more then half a mth loh.
think next wk, we will temp work in Pre-board first. Actually pre-board & ica is doing the same thing lar. The only diff is pre-board is for departure passenger, and ica is for arriving passenger. All the work load is still the same lor.
But i know ica is damn boring. Haiz.. very suay lar kena there.
And all our class got to be separated lor.. so sad sia.. got to be separated from many of my closes fren from there. Haiz..
Same terminal, but will be at diff gates sia.. sure diff shift de.. hard to meet sia.. haizzzz..

I love all my classmates. They are so fun to be with. Got so many polar bears. HAHAHA.
Jayson, Azmi ................................. polar bear only. But they are so funny. So fun to be with.

*I think i won't pin anymore hope. I know you going overseas with her right? That's it!!

I am so sad.

Why am i feeling sad ? -one tight slap to myself-

wake up ANGELIA !!

2009-05-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

This will be my ans, if your post is referring to me..................

I don't dare to pin anymore hope.

I won't pin anymore hope. I don't want pin anymore hope. I know what i get back, is only disappointment. If you are really sincerely, you would have already tell me the facts instead of keep dragging.
I am so afraid. I am really afraid. If one day, we really get back together again is that a good sight? I could predit the same thing would happen again, i guess. If there's once, sure there's twice??
You would never understand the feeling you gave me before. One word, break. And you went away from me. It's so sudden.
I don't want to face the same situation once again..
I guess, it's hard for me to trust you again. You once told me, you would let me forget my pasts and happily with you. But eventually, ur words stil could not be trust.
Disappointment & heartbreaking is what i got from you.

I love you, yet i hate you. You have make me hate you by yr action & words perhaps.
I do not know whether does ur post referring to me not? Anw, i would say that i still can't forget the pasts with you. Hoping to get back with you again, which i guess is hard very very hard i guess.
And i am really afraid of you. The fear that you would dump me again all of a sudden. I could not take it again.
The feeling of scareness which could drive me crazy.

How i wish you could prove me wrong......................

Awwww !! stop my emo-ing lar.
Tomorrow is my exam! I am still very scare still lar. Altho today i can detect all the 5 items but so what? My confidence still not up to that standards.
sigh....

wish me good luck, everyone!

May god bless me!

2009-05-03T00:30:00.000-07:00

I'm confused, very very confused.

What is what? Who is who? I really don't wana think anymore. My head really pain.

Today OJT, have already make my head spinning & damn pain, I can't stand the long hrs of walking around the 3 terminal. It damn big lor.
Walk till my eye blur, head is spinning badly, nearly faint! my eye hardly can open properly. Seeing stars all over my mind.

I really don't wana think anymore. I don't want anymore riddles. Guessing is driving me crazy. I don't wana keep thinking & thinking who he is referring to. The more i think the more upset i feel. The more upset i feel, the more my head pain.
I will only think of that her everytime he blog that sentence. I hope my guess is incorrect.
Stop it man. My head is splitting!!!!

I just want to cry out badly now.

):

2009-04-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

Have lose partial of my voice already lar, damn.

Due to the throat infection, and the overwhelming of coughing which accumulate all the flame and been stuck my throat, blocking my voice.
I hate losing my voice lar!!!! got wad difference from a mute ???..
'm on medication now ):
Praying that my voice would recover by next wk before my exam comes.

叫天，天不灵叫地，地不灵。

感觉好难受。

updated*
Now is morning 6.20AM ; my whole body is burning, 'm having fever and a great job i do not have any fever medicine as when visited the doc last nite i do nt have fever. And out of sudden, fever just come to me.
I feel so weak now. And i got to go airport today perhap for the whole day? I dunno.
Pls pray that i would be alright.

May god bless me!

2009-04-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

'm feeling sick.

My whole class many ppl sick. Everyone MCs one by one. I though my body can take it cause the person closest to me sick for the past 1 wk, and i didn't get affected.
12 hrs in sch everyday leh, guess cause of it everyone fall sick easily lar :/
I feel so glad i didn't get spread.
But good thing don't last. I am sick now. The disease spread to me already ):
I don't wana fall sick at tis time lar. Everytime i sick, i sure lose my voice cause of sore throat. Now my throat is feeling so pain.

Why the fcuk i fall sick now? It alws took me more then 1 wk to recover back my voice.
How am i going to sit for exam next wk? And damn it lar, there would be oral, and we would need to talk a lot.

I put in so much efforts in my work, I don't wana see my work down the drains. Stupid disease go away from me lar, f*** off lar.

Damn it lar !!!!!!!
Damn it lar !!!!!!!
Damn it lar !!!!!!!
Damn it lar !!!!!!!
Damn it lar !!!!!!!

DAMN IT LAR !!!!!!

2009-04-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

Still the same word 'STRESS' !!!!!

I still can't help but still feeling so tense up during the test during class. Actually i think i noe the steps lar, but then dunno why when my turn to test, then this lar that lar get mess up !
Am i been too tense up? Even class test, i also get tis kind of result. Then during the real test, how am i going to do ?
I know lar, i know lar i know how to do lar. But dunno why, when my turn to test, then i get this kind of farking result ............. low morale lar.
Lecturer will be with us till tis wed only. After that, how are we going to be on ourself till next tues which is our real test? Stupid SSU lar, fark up lar change our exam date for wad!!!
haizzzz, my memories not good, my brain not good lar.
Maybe i need to eat pig brain? Everyone say a person stupid, must eat pig brain ??? But is there really people eating pig brain? *disgusting* lehhh.. eyer!!!!
I going to pull up my stock this two days.
***PRAY*** wish me all the best lar.

I want to pass, but i scare to fail. The more i scare, the more i will become tense up lar. I must tell myself, i can do it !! I sure can do it lar.
But can i really do it ? OR am i just consoling myself :/
haizzzzzzzz!!!!!

[I] [M]iss [U]

Seriously, the word speaking out from the bottom of my heart.

Some encourage words pls...

2009-04-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

Hope that time could stop at this moments.

Altho is just a short 2 wks class, but everyone was loving one another. Especially our dearest lecturer, Mr Wong. He is such a great lecturer, humour, funny and lame. He could make the whole class laugh like nobody business. Could laugh till our lung almost burst out. HAHA
Even a normal talking, he would here n there add in some funny words inside. He love 2 suan us but is out of fun only. Overall, he is such a great lecturer.
But everything would ended bout 3days more? Last day with him on 29th april, and he will go teach another new batch of students. And my whole class would be assign to changi airport on the 30th april .
For making our airport pass nia, then do nothing there arh? I dunno.
Actually our exam is on the 29th & 30th april , but al of a sudden it was postponed to 5th & 6th May. which mean we have few more days to practise (:
But our lecturer last day on 29th with us, then for the remaining days till our exam, if we dunno, who should we ask? would we still remember all the steps we supposed to do after few days?
Actually on 29th & 30th exam just nice. Once our lesson ended on 28th then we could take the exam immed the next day at least we learn today and tml sure can remember.

But dunno which bloody idiot SSU or wad lar, postponed till soooo many days later. haiz!
And smmore, for our exam got 'Pac down' search. Checking and feel the pax whole body and check for any prohibited items or weapons. As wad our lecturer told us, for the past 10 years, no one ever do this for exam. We are the first batch doing this for exam.
Are they making thing tough for us ?
Anyws, after 30th SSU will no more longer be there. Will be taking over by Cisco too, i guess! Lecturer told us, they do thing v fuck up de lar! :/

Theory -90%, Bag search- 90%, Handheld Metal Detector -90%, Pac down - UNKNOWN*

E percentage is the % we need to score in order to pass the exam. I have no confidence for the bag search :/ or maybe the Pac-down also lar, for this two during class while we practise i did so badly till now stil have not retest ):
I so scare lor, haiz.. lecturer say definitely won't be 100% passes. Sure will have some fail. I guess the some should be me lar :/ no confidence in myself at all ):
Our previous batch, there is 8 failure. There is no 100% passes!
Why they making thinqs difficult for us?
I don't wana waste my bloody time in tis sch again lar :(

Now i am in pre-board, and he cannot teach me liao, learning diff thinqs liao. Sad, no one to coach me. I guess i need alot alot of practise to brush up my skills. But there is no models for me to practise my skills.
Chick, can you be my model boh ? i need a real human to be my model larh. :/
Since you cant teach me, at least shld contribute smthing rite? be my model larh. I will be greatful to you. (:
For smthing else, leave it to fate. There is no use rushing, end up it won't turn out the way we wants. Even tho i have a big hole in me waiting for you to occupy, but wad i can say is 'i have no say'. I don't wana force anyone to do thinqs against their own wills.
Maybe we scare ............ of the same thing to happen again?
Anyws, it's ur call, ur choice (:

To someone out there: Pls stop criticise me after you see my post everytime. It don't sound nice to me. Thanks [:

I scare of failure BUT i will pick up from where i fell down. I don't wana lose to them. If they can do it, why can't I ? I sure can! My brain is running & functioning much more better then them.
But the only thing, is my observance is not good lar.
How to improve in this?

Anyone to push me harder? It's hard to push myself.

:/

2009-04-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

It seem like nowaday i have been blogging everyday.

I really need to rant it out.. Let me just vent it out.. Ppl who don't want see all my craps, just get lost from here.. I never force you to come here. Just press the 'X' button on the top right hand corner can liao..
I am so disappointed in myself today. Just one word.. sad lah.
During the bag search today, i have miss out 14 items did not detect out. And somemore, i miss out the gun also.. If during real test, miss out gun and immediately will FAIL. And also cannot miss out more then 2 items.
But today practise in class, i miss out 14 items !!!!! how can i ? Some item is so obvious, and yet i did not saw it..
I guess i need more practise in this.. I just feel myself so stupid !!!! even this simple thing oso cannot do.. haizzz

My observance damn fcuking bad la.. haiz.. I can even miss out the item which is right infront of me.. my eye grow under ass meh.. why infront of me oso never see??
Practical test is just so scary, have to face some unknown officer or wad whom they wil tried ways to fail us.
I don't want to fail, i don't want to stay another 2 wks in this damn sch and learn back exactly the same thing again then can re-sit for the test again.

I just want to get lost of this damn sch asap.. I am really scare. I have no confidence at all.
How to boost my confidence?

Someone once told me before, he will coach me when i have to sit for test. He will not let me fail, he will teach me.
But, haizzzz.. I still waiting.......................

I am really scare, altho lecturer say we won't fail de as long as we got study. But i still scare, really scare. I do not have this kind of fear for so many years already.
But this time it really freak me out.

I hate exam! I hate notes!!! I hate studying!!!!

I am just so lost now.

2009-04-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Just wish to blog.. a short post..

Today i managed to memories alot of things into my brain in just less then 20mins. After that was been tested by my another colleague. Still alright lar, i guess.
If i want to study still can de, my brain can still function quite well. I can memories alot of things into my brain in just a short while. If i want, i sure can do it.
But must be last min study then can :/
weird lar.
But tend to forget everything once that thing is over. How can lar. If forget liao, how to work in airport? I must really buck up.

Back up pls.

I have already stop myself from thinking. Have already stop my own action.
BUT ........................ haiz..

If there were a day she want you back, would you be back to her? I guess you would be more happier with her. I will still give you my blessing :/

I must work even harder from tomorrow onwards.

Jiayou! ;D

2009-04-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

I feel so down now.

Today lecturer purposely choose me to answer his qns !! He see my face like so blur or moody or whatever i don't know.
I dunno my mind fly to where.. He ask me this, i answer him that. Was like one chix, one duck.
I dunno where my mind fly to either. I keep thinking of something ......... someone... till can't concentrate in class. I did tried to forcus in class. But smthing tend to pull my mind away from the class.
I guess, i still can't forget it..

Lecturer told us something today. There will be a practical test, oral.. Those kind of have to do those physical of checking bags steps and say out those steps, or whatever lar.
Our lecturer tell us to be careful cause those officer will try not to pass us. Which mean they will tried ways to fail you. What is this? Then no matter hw hard we try oso will fail us lar?
Say cause they want to cut down manpower. Ridiculous lar. Want to cut down still want to hire so many ppl every mths for wad.
Now for my course is onli total 1200 ppl. By end of this yr, they aim to hire 2000 ++ ppl.
Since want to cut manpower, for wad sill want hire so many ppl.
I dun understand leh. what the hell is this..

I try to forcus, try to work hard. But after hearing all this today. I lost all my morale, i lose my confidence, i lose all the wills power to learn.

I totally lose all my fcuking morale ......

I just feel so down now. I don't want to be emo either. But this course, is making me feeling damn down and moody.

Haizzzzzz..

2009-04-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

别再为他流泪 - 梁静茹

你走了太久一定很累
他错了不该你来面对
离开他就好就算了心情很干脆
他其实没有那么绝对
远一点你就看出真伪
离开他不等于你的世界会崩溃
转个弯你还能飞就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉
每段感情都非常珍贵
他的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉
你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起他还有些体会
那些你已无所谓
就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉
就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后管他是谁

This song is dedicate to myself. The lyric is so meaningful. It well describe what I am feeling now. But i am not emo now. Don't mistaken.
I am perfectly alright now (:

have dye back my hair, that stupid work don't allow my hair colour. Lecturer say gold not allowed. Dye back to black. It was like super black lah, charcoal lor.. Extremly super duper black -.- see le was like soooo freaking ugly.
Never mind , i will wash my hair more often and the black will fade off. Very black lor, few years never see my hair so black le -.-
I am been a ang moh for sooo many years, finally now i am back to a singaporean [:

Notes & notes still notes. My brain can't take it liao. Can't seem to absorb too much thin into my brain. It was like soooo hard ;x
Many years never study liao, now my brain was like rusty le :/
Need to study, and memories everything ):
Think about 1 wk plus more to the real test ? Dunno, i never go count.

Guess the lecturer won't let anyone fail. But provided we got pass the test. If fail, sure get kick out :/
I must pass, i will jiayou.. !!! add more oil to me man ;x

Jiayou, Jiayou, Jiayou !
;D

I can do it [:

2009-04-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

You are such a bastard !

HY mei is correct, you are still the same as the past. Maybe in the first place, i am blind. I am stupid to trust you.
Anyway, this shall be my last lesson (: I have learn such a great lesson this time. Still wana thank you, to enable me to see your true colour.
I will learn to get over it. No use upset over such a person, right? Bastard only.

I am better off now. (:

The damn stupid sch which I have to go everyday is so tiring. Reach the gate liao, still have to climb so high up. Climb sooo many stairs :/
So damn tired lor, climb up the hill liao still have to climb sooo many steps of stair.
I swear I am not coming back this type of place after i completed my course.
Actually the job i apply is to do the screening of the baggage. But on the 1st day of my course, i have ops to another dept.
Go for pre-board. The duties of this job, is to do screening for passenger or whatever i also dunno how to say.
the lecturer so funny & lame -.- And he say we will be facing diff kind of passenger everyday from all diff kind of country.
That cool. Get to see diff kind of peoples everyday. Trying out something diff this time. Hopefully, this job would be more better :/
Let see how. I am putting in alot of efforts in my course & theory exam got 250 questions !!!!
omg, over 200 qns!!! ):

Have been enjoying my lesson everydays. But lesson is sooo torturing. When the lecturer is talking, my eye just feel like sleeping. When he stop talking, then i don't feel sleepy -.-
Somehow, like 'cui mian' lah =.=

And freaking hell, tml start got to reach class at 7am. Meeting my coursemate at 6am. So which mean i got to wake up at 4.30am !!!
Can you imagine how early is that? ): i am lacking of sleep.
Got to complete Module 1 -5 at the shortest period of time. Will be sitting for the real test after 10days later.
Never mind lah. I will try my best, I can do it (:

OH YAH! before i end this post. Coursemate have told me something, and i totally agree with her. Does Cisco hiring ppl, just for the sake of hiring. Don't they expect any criteria or maybe self discipline people?
They just hire just for the sake of manpower. They don't have any expectation de meh? The groups of malay/indian ; guys/gals from my class. Can i say they have attitude prob or what? they just fcuking noisy, keep talking and talking non stop, very irritating lah. Behave like those monkey which just escape out from the zoo.
So hyper and damn noisy.
Imagine they work in airport? Airport sooo quiet, and imagine if those bunch of monkey start talking & talking. irritating lah.
Hopefully, won't be the same terminal as them lah.. I hate malay/indian people. Oh, i not pointing at anyone.
Just giving an example lah. No bias against them (:

I love everyone who show concern for me. You guys know who you are.

Thanks anyway. Don't worry bout me, from now onwards, my life would be more better. I would create rainbow into my life.

;DD

2009-04-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

原来一切的一切只是一场儿戏。

原来你不是真的。我终于明白了。我还得谢谢你。

谢谢你给我的伤害！感谢你。我想我不必说的那么多。就当做这些是我自找的吧！
也许一个人会比较好。

*我真的受伤了*

I feel that I am just been a fool all this while. Was been played around like a fool all this while.
I need a needle and threat to mend back my heart.
Wy am i shedding tears cause of it? Does it worth it? I don't know. I just feel sooo hurt. Thank for all this.

Need to give full concentration in my course right now. Got to pass all the theory & practical test 12 days later.

I will be better.

2009-04-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

How should i start my post today? :/

well, 2nd day of my course today. Everything seem to be ok. BUT tml got test. The whole booklet will be tested. Till now i not yet touch the book.
I scare i will fail. I will go read it later bah.
But I don't seem to have the mood to do anything at all today. Was in a daze in class the whole day ): I can't seem to absorb anything into my brain today.
The lecturer is quite lame, everyone was laughing at his joke. Yet i am sitting there staring in the air..
I don't find it funny at all. Or should i say my motivation is gone.

What occupies in my mind is all about him. Just him and nothing else. You seem to be diff this two days. I know you sick and working ot sooo much very tired. As i say i very understanding de.. LOL.. But i so sad from the way u treat me tis two days.
Maybe i toooo depend on you liao. I can't seem to be myself normally without you by my side.
You asked me once before: 1 day never talk will die ah? I can answer you: Yes.
In the past towards others i won't feel this way.
But toward you, the feeling is diff. Can't find any words to explain. Just need you with me, no matter what i do, w yr word. It seem to lighten me up alot.
Lose you once before, this time i really treasured this rs. I don't wish to lose you again. I don't want to let you leave me again.
You are my last. As i promised.

Do you still remember ? ..

I guess that yr phone no batt liao, till now my heart still feel so down w/o your call. Whole night was complaining to my YL. Keep shouting to her saying that where is he, what is he doing? when he will call me? he won't treat me in that way he won't dump me hor
And she find me sooo irritating, keep grumble to her. And she ask me to shut up ):
I really really dunno what to say.

I don't have the mood to do anything at all. my brain can't seem to be in the right position now.
I need people to help me top up oil * But no use, oil can't seem to reach the top.
But i know later when he call me, my oil tank will shoot right up to the top. 100%

I really need to start study now. But i don't feel like studying. ):

I got to force myself !!!!!

Labels: 你成经说过，你对我的爱比我对你的爱还要深。但如经我能肯定的告诉你，我对你的爱比你对我的爱还要深。

我超不开心，我很伤心，心很痛。你会明白吗？

2009-04-12T23:55:00.000-07:00

Out of nothing. My mood feel so down. * miss my bf*

Will be starting my course tml liao... sigh..
Actually my bf will be bringing me to the police academy . Oh which is the sch located at. Damn it lor, such a wulu place somemore! Old police academy. Pray that i don't see all those dirty thing.
*cross finger*
see from spore map, beside is a chinese cemetery. omg!!! -.-
But last min he got to work ot till tml morning. He can't bring me go liao. sad. But don't worry dear, im not angry okies. I understand work oso no choice de..
No worries k.. i won't angry de (: Love you!!
cracking my brain & ways to find out how am i going there tml morning. Be it by bus or mrt, all the journey very far. Senkang, eunos, bishan. All cannot lah.. Distance too far liao.

Finalise, alight at Toa Payoh lor. then take bus go ?? first time go there. Luckily im going with one gal who is attending the course also. Know her last wk at the cisco headquarter when we sign letter. She living in Tamp too. So shall go together with her..

LOL.. wish me luck for my first attempt to such a totally strange place * insert a cry face*
How i wish babychick is beside me now ):
Miss him terrible much now. He is busy working & nt replyin to me. But don't worry k.. im nt angry or wad. I very understanding de hor..haa. Just wana let you know how much i miss you.
I realised that i really can't live without you. Just like a body without soul. Time is alway not enough when i am with you. Time just pass so fast.
How i wish that the time would stop for us just once.
You are the first guy, who make me dare to do so much thing. I mean as in my words & action toward you.
You are the first, the ever first. Feeling honour? LOL..

Before i end this post, i would like to say that:

I really fcuking duper love myself for choosing the right choice in leaving that company. My super luck to join that company in the fcuking first place.
My two years stay there. LAUGH. I am just stupid.
No way i am going to miss that place. No way there will be any memories of there in my fcuking mind.
No way i am going to step in there again *unless anything impt*
I just find myself so stupid if i am going to miss that place again. Just my luck.
Yea, and it will be gone fm my memories from now on.
I don't feel like giving a damn of them from now on. Those words those action, yea and i realised that no matter how close two person are. But time can drift each other apart.
Maybe everyone is just putting a mask infront of everyone.

Maybe .......... i don't know.

Whatever. I would try to live my life better then the past. I got him is enough. Is enough to give me the motivation. I promised you are the last.
The feeling and everything is diff. Really special. No words to describe,
Anyway, i love you. Trust my word just for once and it will be forever.
<33

Night to all :D

2009-04-08T23:05:00.000-07:00

Who do you think you are ?

Yes, friend. So what! I can choose not to tell you anything. Why 'friend' then must say out everything de meh?!
You are in no position to question me. Even my own fren don't ever question me in such way. So what right do you have?
Why must i tell you, who i going out with ? Why must i tell you my tag msg, is from guy or gal ?
hello!! it was like so funny.. what position are u in for asking me tat?
It was like so ridiculous. Simply ridiculous.

You are nothing to me. But just a friend. Can a fren stop asking me such question which make me so piss off ?
I do not have to answer the question which you asked me. who are you?

Will a gal ever tell a gal, how much they miss each other? miss their hugs? love them? It was like so obvious and yet you can asked me is that msg from a guy or gal ?!
I have nothing to hide. Yes he is my boyfriend.
You can say me flirt lah, or whatever you want. As you wish. I don't bother about it. If you think im flirt, i can say im not!
Maybe you can say im naive. I won't give a damn.
Im not even a bit of happy in the past with you. What happiness you given me before? Quiet is what you know !.. what else?
I have enough of it.

I can say, NOW I am happy only. The feeling of been really happy. Till now, i realised.

why don't seem that now im feeling that way w him? I`m now far more happier then the past.
I enjoy the stay, the companion, the conversation.
My heart have told me to walk this path. I won't regret in choosing this path. I would treasured it right into my heart.
I love my babychick damn lotss... He changed my life. No words could use to describe. I have lose him 5 yrs ago due to some double-headed ppl. Now we are back together again. It's so sudden and really quite surprising. The feeling I had was like 5 yrs ago?? we can even talk everything, every single thing.
He's the last. I promised.

Maybe no one will understand how i am feeling. So after seeing this post, gossip may arise.
I don't give a damn seriously. I don't want to care what others think. I am not living for them.
Only my laopo's would really understand. They would sit down and listen to what i got to say.
Understand me and give me their warmest blessing.
I don't give a damn to others who don't give a damn to me.
Not every friend is your true fren forever, who can been there for you.
I am glad, i got both my laopo's. They are all i need. I love both of them.

To accept or understand me for who i am. I won't change for anyone. Except ............heh, babychick.
Trust me, time would prove everything. The true love in us.

I know what i am doing. I hope i don't received any msg of gossiping about me. Do clear thing out personally with me first.

Laopo's, let meet up soon !!!!!!!!!!!! ):

Labels: I am really feeling so stressss right now !!!!! cause of work!!! what reason should i give him for my early leaving? It's reallly hard. And tml is my last day le !!!!!! not yet tell him !!! My head realli big now. Head so pain !!!!

2009-04-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

My sick have finally recovered.

LOL.. was like finally lor.. if not guess my nose going to drop off lor !!

Today went down Cisco to sign the appointment letter. Haizz!! course is going to start early as i had expected. Which is on the 13th. Actual my last day is 15th. So i gona compensate them and leave earlier.
The course sch was like .. wa~ so far away at Thomson Road leh -.- got to wake up at 5am !!! more earlier then last time when i work in office lor..
haizzzz!! sian..

Ok now back to my current job first lah. Will anyone miss me when i leave? There's a much more younger ger who take over my position.
Bitchy say the new gal very friendly. She gt new partner sitting beside her le..
I hear le was like so sad. So my position in her heart is so easily been replace ???
And i leave earlier 3 days, den i say i got to leave earlier then i 'haizz'. she was like asking me why i haiz.. I say cause gt to leave early very sudden v fast.
She reply till like, leave early jiu leave lor. I still expect she will like ' huh' why u have to leave so early? I mean was like those reaction of maybe sad or what.
But she did not. Oh so now im been replace by another person in her heart le..
I was like so sad lor......
That how i feel when she tell me. I dunno does she think tis way. But tat is the feeling she give me lor.. haizz. Today eileen call me telling i do wrong smthing or what lah. Guess that she shld be diappointed w me everytime forget tis forget tat.
haizz. what feeling should i have now ? =/ i dunno.
I am just feeling damn sad..
I guess despite of working here for 2 yrs. But in their heart, I am just nothing.

Guess tat i should not have put too much feeling into this company. What i get back only with ''disappointed''.
Aiyah, one word. Forget it !!

Oh yah. Regarding my new job. Dunno will i be happy working there?? So much gossipsss!!!
haiz! aiyah. Duno lah.. so sad now oso dunno why.. LOL..
But never mind. Someone will be with me, right? (:

LOVE YOU !!!

BabyChick or Hotchick ?? Aiyah whatever right!!! LOL.. You know i love you damn much, right?? haa!! I really really really love you........
You have changed my life. *Hearts you.

Labels: Disappointed OR sad ??? Haizzz..disapointed w them.

2009-04-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

Sick. Sick. Sick.

Damn bad flu, for 2 days liao. Medicine still don't cure. Feel that my nose is going to drop off anytime >.< imagine you wana 'ahchoo' but can't come out. Nose damn itchy, very pain also. Make my head pain as well ):

cough is coming also liao .. help!

i don't wana fall sick at this time. I can't afford to take mc. Cause i don't wana extend my days. my last day must be on 15th.

I MUST ENDURE. CAN'T LET MY ILLNESS GET WORSE!!!!

I must get plenty of rest !!!!!

Labels: I miss you. Tml is the day. YAYNESSS~!

2009-04-02T23:58:00.000-07:00

I CRIED..... cause i care.

:'(

2009-04-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

I guess i can't spend my remaining days peacefully.

Never ever would be peaceful ~ haiz. I feel so sick of it. With such a kind of boss, would i still got the chance to spend the remaining days there peacefully? I doubts.

Saw an email earlier on from webmail. Company email. I guess i miss out something never do before went back jus now.
He says: "From now onwards without my permission you are not supposed to knock off".
Wah~ wad's this?
He is the boss, i am the staff. Does staff supposed to get permission from boss before knock off?
This few days, he have been giving me so much troubles. He is such a pain.
Even my half day urgent leave, wad the big deal? Why does he have to kick a fuss out of it?
Next tues, im gona take leave again to make a trip down to Cisco to sign letter. Will he be disapprove of my leave? Damn it, i think also feel so piss off. But at least im working back extra day to him. If he does not approve my leave, i think i would straight won't turn up to work. He don't have the bloody right to disapprove. He have no fucking right to do that!!!

I keep thinking, my previous life, did i owe him anything or am i his enemies in our previous life?? Why does he keep going opposite me?
So sick of it. Wana spend the remaining 2 wks peacefully also cannot. He must create so much troubles.
He shoot me, he give me troubles, he very happy. His goals is to make me piss off ?? LOL.. i guess im thinking tooo much.
BUT i realli hor, very pisss off leh.. haizzzz!!!

Very tired.

Im still having diarrhoea this few days. Guess my stomach can't anyhow eat. Sigh.
Having flu right now :/ blocked nose!! I can't fall sick!!!

OH YAH !! 7th & 10th.. FASTER COME. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
You know, I know.

Labels: Fragile, weak ?

2009-03-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

LAOPO'S , I MISS ALL OF YOU ALSO.

saw my YY laopo few days ago -.- dunno why so ''unlucky' la hor, alway see her at tamp & kena suan by her. HAHAHA. Joking.
I would still love to see my lovely laopo's .. ;D
But pls stop suan-ing me, and i would love you more........ *evil laugh*
Meet up soon before my new job start. Still got April one whole month to meet, okay! faster arrange to go out ok ok ok? Very long boh go out shopping le ): missss shopping.. LOL..
I want to go bugis.. Anyone ? Laopo's??

Well, got that Cisco job, still got to attend course. Haiz.. Like going back to study life. Got to memorise soooo many thinqs. But nvm, got someone there to help me.. lol.. hor??
After offically start work there, guess i won't be free to go out liao.. everyday work till night time + wkend got to work too. Seldom got off on wkend, i guess? :/
nvm lah hor, guess i will got company working there.. hahahahs!

This few days simply got no mood to work. 2 more weeks and got to leave there offcially. Almost 2 yrs there.
I would misss all the laughter there.

I love ; Eileen, Jesling, Jinny, Celine, Jianmei, Xiangli, Chew, Isabell, Lina, Mickey.
Especially thank to Eileen for her guidance for my 2 yrs stay there. From NOOB of me, til now. She really taught me alot, and having patient with me & tolerate all my mistakes & never ever give up on me. Even tho now, there's still sm mistake =x
But i am better, 99% better then when i first came in.
I tend to forget thinqs, or if not jiu shi keep thing pending and never do. wahaha!
And she alws got to clear all my shyeee!!

It's time to go now. I can't stay there any longer. My limit toward that company is up. It`s not the place for me to stay on.
Problem does not lies with the colleague. But with someone else, YES and it's the boss.
I guess I have tolerate enough. Even tho now he no longer scold me. But it's too late.
he have already hurt my pride, disrespect me.
I no longer could hold it anymore. TIME - UP .....
I guess i would be better off in the new company. I need to grow up and face more of outside world. I got to be independent. To someone out there who till now still don't support me of this job. never mind. I can't care as well. Anyway it's my choice.
And i would hold myself responsible if anything happen.
I guess i need to be matured lah.

I need to change my life. I need to change my style.

I need to change MY EVERYTHING.

Friends out there, support me yah ;D YAY!!!

Labels: Will upload the photos of my company later on? Many misses*

2009-03-28T22:20:00.000-07:00

What else can i say now?

Other then sorry, still sorry!

I am so sorry, to hurt you so much. I know sorry could not cure anything. But really so sorry, i don't know what else to say other then sorry.
This is the 2nd guys which i hurt them with all my action & word.
I really don't know what to do. Am i uselss? What i know is to escape from the fact. But have ignore his feeling.
I am bad. I know.
Really sorry. Truly sorry.

I believe time can cure everything? perhaps! I need time to overcome myself as well.
I am tired. Really tired.
I shall wish you all the best & we are still friend? I hope so. I want us to remain as friend. A fren which can talk almost everything.

But I just don't know how to put it, how come the feeling is not right at the moment?
Memory there is. Althought is not happy one. But i would still remember it right inside my heart.
The time we had spend together on V.day, the day which you bring me out w yr fren to play.
One thing i would love to say. I love you for holding my hand tighly when we are outside. As not to let me fall or whatever, whenever im wearing high heel.
Thank for all those love you have shower me for the past few months.

I would always remember the last hug.

We shall have a memory in our each heart always. shall we? I know it's hard for you to let go, when i ask you too. I'm so sorry.

pls accept my apologies & a new fren (ME)

I would love you as a friend.

AND LASTLY, i am very excited. wooo~~ i got the job. I GOT THE JOB. I am happy to say that.
I got that Cisco job. Yayness! Received their call in the afternoon.
Congra me~ be happy for me! ;D

I am really tired.

Perhap, i need a break.

Label: Apologise does not help in anything. But pls truly accept mine. Pls forgive me?
I seek for yr forgiveness.

2009-03-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

Well, eh. I know my previous post sound very agitate.

Ok today this post, no offence de ahs. Just let me vent what i want. No more of yr tag of respone. Had enough of it, okay!

So continue from my previous post.
Now everyone should get a clearer image. 'Screening officer' does not mean officer or what security guard lah. Got this word so wad? must be officer de meh?
One of my fren ask me what position i apply for ; i say is Aviation screening officer. He say 'oh, is those which scan baggage de ah? He straight got it right! But why there is still someone out there can be so ............? Screening officer then must be some kind of 'officer' de meh? Don't think you are alway right.
pls get facts right before all yr scolding.

How you expect me to love u more, when there's nothing which is good abt you to let me love you more?
Ok whatever lah. We need cool down, and talk to settle.

It won't last, trust me.

We are lacking off understanding. Maybe?

; anyway, stop my emo-ing. I do hope to get that job seriously. Let me pray*
Wish me good luck, yah? : /

What is L.I.F.E ?

Any answer for it ? Anyone?

Labels: Perhaps, it faded.

2009-03-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

FUCK IT !!!!!
I really don't understand, just don't understand.

i am really heartbroken. why can't u be supportive in the choice i have make?
Is working in the airport as 'Aviation Screening Officer' really such a bad choice?

who say this is a security guard ? If i didn't find out more abt this job scope, u think i would go apply for it? And only apply, i didn't confirm in. Why are u pouring a pail of cold water toward my head? You are my bf leh. Who are you? Why can't you be supportive at all? I tot you would support me. But the ans i got from you really disappoint me.
I am so angry. My heart is even more pain.
Why can't i get yr understanding?

I am really so heartbroken.

I am only intending to try out. Tying out a new challenging job, may not be a bad thing. I how old already nw? Am i wrong to choose what myself wan?
If not suitable, at most don't work loh.
What the big deal. Why do u have to create a fuss out of it?
Why u so keen to make me angry.
I just want yr support, yr understanding. WHERE IS IT?

i don't like a bf who is not supportive toward me. I am only trying out. What wrong? What the fuck is wrong, tell me lah!!!!

I asked you: Can you support my choice?
You ans : Sorry I can't.

DO YOU KNOW THIS WORD REALLY HURT ME ALOT?????!!!!!

hey everyone out there tell me. LAOPO'SSS !!!!
would it hurt you, if yr bf say this word to you. Don't support you but still pour the whole pail of cold water toward you ?
if let say really don't support me, can't u put it in a more nicer words ???????
Instead of pouring cold water toward me ???? I hate it, u noe..

Do you ever know or understand my feeling?
Can anyone tell me what bf is this ?????
CAN YOU JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME ????

Im just so heartbroken now. So sad. My heart so pain .... sobzzzz..
Don't talk to me right? Ok fine.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Labels: Once a word been say out, it can't be keep back. It's too late.

2009-03-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

I just feel soo empty, so aimless =/

How should i say, i really don't know how to say out what i'm feeling right now.
let say about job. I do not know how to start to find job. Now economy so bad, to find a job was like so hard. Even if let you found a job, i guess the pay would be damn less.
Why did i resign in the first place ah? all cause of the farking boss lah. If not of him, would i have resign and now thinking how to find a new job.

so siann, or should i say dishearted.

Ok about my dance, i was thinking of mastering only hiphop now. Forcus myself only on hiphop dance. Let me learn and can dance well one day?
one point is; no job = no money = how to learn more dance? I wish to learn more. But i can't.
Now in one sch liao, but i feel it's not enough. 1 wk only 1 lesson, smmore only 1 hr.. Can learn how much?
I must put in more effort and time. More practise, put my heart & soul into the dance. And within 6 mths i can dance well. That's wad Freddy told me. Oh freddy he's my ex instructor.
damn it, should not have quit my job in the first place.
no job, wher got money to go learn more dance?
never learn, how to dance more & improve?

I want to dance very well. I want to see myself into something i'm interested. I wan to make dance my life. Whenever unhappy or moody, just dance & and i will be ok liao.
That's what dance for. The motivation of my life.
When can my dream come true?
I never ever bother about money issue before. But this time, it's bothering me from head to toes. In the past, im still young. i do not have any dream to chase.
Now i'm 22 ? work in tis company for 2 yrs, and as time pass, i have grow older. I have dream to chase.
I want to learn this, learn that. But if been jobless = no money.
How should i go about to chase my dream?
I don't wish to give up this dream. But if out of no choice, do i have to?
I am really feeling damn down now.

Do I have to pay a price for my own doing? i'm scared.

no sponsoring. But who would be so kind soul to sponsor me in everything?
I must be dreaming.
How i wish without working, and a person would have lots of money.
People work, is cause of living. But if suay, working under a bastard boss. How does a person feel?
It's such a torturing & miserable feeling.
Hate it.

I guess i'm been emotional again.
):

2009-03-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

Damn it, don't sound till like everything is my fault.

cause of me you don't come back? Cause of the two words & i condem you?
Hell lah, go and think lah hor, is it really that simple? In the first place, since you are already telling lie, why the fcuk you still want to scold me that two words or even insult me?
If you didn't do all that in the first place, will i react in this way?
Since already telling lie, why can't change in the way u talk to me instead of those hurting words.
Don't sound till like i causes you don't have the mood to work. Even if you come back work, will u have the face to 'face' everyone? Your those sms whole office, no one don't know about it.
Everyone know you telling lies yet scolding people still.
Even eileen also mentioned, you really don't have the mood to work (as when u arnd, u kip saying u dun have the mood to work)
Yes, and we confirm that. Why? Cause all ur work load left behind really half fuck. Do this never do that, key this never key that. Do half, another half never do ?? What is this? Since u don't have the mood to work, you shld have leave earlier. isn't it?

And i did really treat you as a true friend. But when come to work, you are so irresponsible. That's one point i can't take it. That why, it could lead to spoil frenship as there is too much unhappy thing happen.
Don't push all the blame onto me.
Why don't seem that i have any problems with other colleague. In this office, no one have any problem with each other. But only you, why is that? I wana know too.

You can just treat it as i am bad mouth you or whatever. Anyws, whatever i say is all true.
You accept or not, not my prob. I know i have no wrong, that it !

* I hate the new office. I prefer the old office* ):

sigh, finish my dance lesson today. Maybe gona upload the video taken today? haas, anna laopo? correct? LOL.. dont worry, think don't have too much part of our unglam steps ba :D
Overall, the whole dance steps is great! Will continue my dance life in another sch yah ? (:
JIAYOU~ i can do it.
Another sch de dance, every wk teach diff thing. But in 1 hr can learn how much thing? I wondering =/
See how bah hor :D Will be dancing with my bitchy' this time round. Hahahas.

I don't want to stop dancing. I gona continue dancing till one day, i am pro in it. I want to be a dancer. -.- It take times ):

Jiayou, jiayou ^^

2009-03-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

Have tender my resignation on 11.03.09

Thus my last day would be 1 month later from the date. Wish me all the best peeps (:
Wish me find a better job, most importantly with a better boss !!! LOL.

On sat, move office. -.- sigh!! Why i sigh ? Cause i hurt my foot + cut my leg ): it's pain de lor.
Everyone was helping to move the furniture from the gate to the office. Omg lah, it's just so heavy. Imagine all the ppl moving is gals -.- do we have so much strength ?
Those furniture, table; chairs; those rubbish thing + document is heavy, got the weigh of a human anot ah ?
When i was alone pushing the trolley at the slope there, suddenly the cupboad lost balance and fall on the ground. I cut my leg cause of this. ):
Maybe due to the strenght im using, and carry so much heavy thing. My foot nerve was hurt, out of a sudden very pain but i still continue moving those heavy stuff. End up, it because worse. The pain was sooooo.. indescribable. I can't walk ):
It's red and swollen now. But it's getting better today. Hopefully, on tues i have recover ? Still got my last dance lesson on Tues.

Well what should i say, how should i say, or maybe how should i put it ?
You treat me as good friend? And the way i treat u make you heartbroken ? My blog say you till like that ?
Please don't make me laugh.
I don't need to say much, i think. You should know better then I am. in my last 2nd post, i have already say what I want. I don't think there's a need to repeat myself.
Those friend who know about this matter, understand everything clearly, will understand my points. But if you still wana accuse me or make the story upside down, go ahead. It does not affect me, seriously.
I don't have to be upset over this matter at all.
Afterall, what I can say is. Please be responsible of your own doing. I know you keep stressing that you are you, no one can judge your life.
But as a outsider seen, what u doing is wrong but u still insist it in your own ways. If you have do nothing wrong, is there a need for me to say you? Does you ever see me saying things about other colleagues?
Whatever lah, stop this topic. After seeing this, you can continue yr crap or whatever saying i bad mouth you. But i can repeat myself, i didn't. I am just speaking the facts.
I am not been mean. I am just been straightforward. That me! (:

And I have enroll in another dance sch. A&J Creative danceworld. Have been taking dance seriously. And i hope there's this one day, i would become maybe abit 'pro' ? Don't think too much first. let see how.
I wish to have a talents. At least i won't be look down. My mum is not supportive as all. That's sad. i would prove to her that i can.
hopefully after the 10 lessons, i would at least know how to dance freely.

Dance will be part of my life from now on (:
I don't want to be look down by others, as i do thing alws give up half way. This time i must be persistent yah ?
I must learn to be strong, be firm of what i want to do. I am not young anymore also right? ):
Why am i still in this way?

Friend out there, give me supports & motivation, can you?

*.*

2009-03-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

I think this time I gona be firm.

Listen up, everyone! I am going to tender tomorrow. I am going to give the letter tml.
I must not be soft hearted, I really had enough of all these shye!
Today had a very terrible day, crying the whole evening in work. he is just simply ridiculous. Making me stay back when he noe i got classes after work. He can just freaking say that he don't care what classes I have, he pay me salary then i have to do finish his work.
pay me salary very big fuck ah ? Think i give a damn of it ? I can just fuck off from tis co. I don't need his that pathetic salary for a living.
I would be better off outside, with a better job better boss.

Only know of insulting me, what else? How he expect me to handle alone when i only just take over and know nothing about it and he refused to coach ?

WTH !!! what am i ? Am i just an items for him to scold as he pleased, insult as he like ? Does he ever treat his staff as a human being or not?
Does he ever respect his staff ? Does he ever spare a thought of the staff feeling, listen to what their comment or any advise ? Simply no! nothing.

I feel he's such an asshole no wonder everyone dislike him. Just now, i simply feel like killing him or splash red paint at him, or hang pig head at his house doorstep!!
Damn freaking pisssss off lah, no words could use to describe my feeling right now.

Wasting lots of my tears today, I am going to stop it.

I am going to put an end to it.
Pls give me the motivation to really put down my heart and tender.

Really feeling so depressed.

Sad ):

2009-03-07T22:55:00.000-08:00

Trying to seek for forgiveness now after everything is been reveal out ?

Sorry, i don't accept your apologise. Don't assume that I am been hang high up. I am not, pls go think back this morning what is yr sms about?
Accuse me, insult me ? with all your word. Those word is still flooding in my mind.
You purely know that you are already telling lies in the first place, yet you still can pretend as you are not lying, and farking scold me, insult me with all yr words. And assume that I have accuse you.
NOW, who accuse who lah ? speak for yourself.
And you bloody say that i have show attitude to you, and u have already see engh in work. Did i ever show u attitude in work before ? Even yes, I am not showing any attitude. I'm only asking why you are doing thing wrong, merely raise my voice a little.
You are under Eileen, not me ! Why the hell should i show u attitude for ?

And one thing, i would like to stress again.
Don't think that company is what ? come and don't come as and when u like. You assume i'm alw saying thing when u are on MC. But did you bloody go and think first of what u told us. You tell eileen one story, tell me another story. How you expect us to belief you ?
I'm not afraid to say out now, since you are no longer my fren.
You keep stressing u are reali sick, but when u are back, u don't seem a little of sick at all.
Even how weak a person are, is it possible for them to get sick again and again for 2 or 3 times in just merely one month?
I think even a 3 yrs old kid also much stronger than you.

I know you dislike this company, the boss. You alws say till the boss how bad, till like he treat u very bad. But did he ever scold u since eileen back from her 1 mth mc ?
Who kena scold ? Is only me and eileen always.
We are sick of this job, we are piss off the boss. We also don't feel like working. But did we say we are sick of this job and don't come work.
No matter how sick and piss we are, we still have to face it. It's just a job responsibilities. Don't you even have a sense of responsibilities ?
Can you just think of eileen, you never come, do u think u 'll get scold ? NO, you wont. Eileen is the only one who kena scold. Whatever we do wrong, all the blame is fall on her.

If you really so sick of this job, jolly well resign. Don't stay and keep taking urgent leave or mc.
You should know boss pattern. He won't accept all this. Since we are working under him, everything also have to 'endure'.

And stop putting all the blame on Lina. You no longer treat her as fren ? That's good.
How come i say good ? Cause she never treat you as friend, she only treat you as "friend"
Inverted comma.

What i could say is, I won't accept your apologise. I won't forgive you.

Now not i accuse you, not i step on your tail. IS YOU, who accuse me, insulted me, stepping on my tail. Don't ever expect me to forgive you. I don't think this kind of fren is suitable for me.
And one last thing, u mention I 'ah lian' to you ?
You smoke, I don't smoke. You drink, I don't drink. You club, I don't club. So farking go and see clearly who then look like 'ah lian' ??
Pls speak for yourself first.

Since you assume that i didn't treat you as fren before, let it be. I have nothing to comment. What i could say is if i didn't ever treat u as fren, i would long ago chase u back the $ which u owe me. But i didn't. I know yr situation, i don't force you.
But since now you no longer my fren, pls return what you have owe me. i don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. You can then just fcuk off from my life as u wish right?

Other then work, don't expect me to have any conversation with you.

I am piss with all your attitude.

From now onwards, we have nothing to do with each other.

2009-03-05T22:30:00.000-08:00

Somehow, I am feeling .............. just,

- DISAPPOINTED -

Leave me with no words. I don't need those understanding.

Just fuck off, thanks!

2009-03-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

I just don't understand.

Everything i do just wrong. What the fcuk he want from me? Kena scold cause he say i dunno never ask and do wrong. WTH.. If i ask will he tell me the ans i want ? Once, i ask him, he told me to find out the ans myself. Then i expect if i have anything he won't answer me at all or even bother to xplain to me what i want.

Ask him he also scold, never ask him he also scold. *cry* i really dunno what to do.
I just feel so helpless. If cry can solve the prob, i would definitely cry the whole day whole nite.
He was like scolding till damn loud. Don't he even have any respect toward his staff ?

He think i so like to do those bloody shit detention report ah?? do i have a choice? i just sooooo hate it.. hate it soooo much! i dunno hw to do, do i have anyone to turn to? Boss? the only person who know. But does he bother to xplain to me? Only know how to ask me to find the ans myself.
then do wrong jiu kena fuck up by him.
What is this? anyone can tell me ?????

I really had enough. I just sooooooo hate it. hate the bossssss !!!!!!!!

I really don't feel like going to work. I just have kinda fear in him now.

I'm really scare, really really scare.

Who can stand in my shoe and understand all the stress im going thru.

No one.

2009-03-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

woooo~ finally i have recover >.<

only after 1 wk, then my visit to the doc. If i have gone to the doc earlier, maybe i won't diarrhoea for almost 1 wk then recover. But blessing in disguise, i have lost 3 kgs in just that 1 wk. Maybe diarrhoea for 1 wk, give out tooo much water lah. But guess, after few days or wk, my weigh will gain back.
Have to start my jogging real soon lah >.<

After triggering here & there for so long, ytd i have finalise on 1 phone which i like. And today, i bought it >.< is it tooo rush ? will i regret my choice in choosing a whole phone touch screen ? from my memories, touch screen phone will spoil v fast lah. Toooo sensitive liao =/
But i still bought it. 'Samsung Pixon'. RED. wooohooo~

Let me figure out how to use tis phone man. Oh ya, and some of my contacts is lost, i think >.< ~gosh. Some contact is save in phone sia. All gone ~
and some contact was like duplicate de.
So ma fan, have to go figure which is which. sigh.. OMG~~~~~~

Last nite, boh tai boh ji, my mood was like ..................... so down. No reasons. And all of a sudden, just feeling so tired. Was lying on the bed till 1am, all the msn chat have not reply, and i just close it, shut the comp and sleep ~
no mood or strenght to reply at all.
I wish to be happy, more happy. Real happy.

something was not meant to be say out* ..

I just need some motivation to move on.

2009-02-25T00:35:00.000-08:00

It is just so pain.

No word could use to describe the pain I going thru now. My stomach just pain so badly.
Diarrhoea since last wk, recover after medication.
But today, it came back. Till my ass pain like fuck. My stomach pain like hell.

I feeling soooooooo much in pain now ):

Feeling so restless now cause of the pain. I just feel like dying.

IT IS SOOOOOOOO FCUKING PAIN !!!

2009-02-22T02:05:00.000-08:00

ARE YOU SO DESPO FOR GUYS ????!!!!!

your brain grow under your ass or what lah ??!!!! U KNN !!! dare to play with my frensss!!
who the hell you think you are !!!?? sooooooo despo for guys tilll like that ??!!! pester my fren, say he dump u, hurt u ??!!! WTH he hurt you ??!!!
he didn't even date u or touch u before ??!!!!
YET u accuse him of 'dump' you and hurt u a lot ????????!!!!!!
And keep pestering him lah. HEY, are u really so hunger for guysss ?! can't live without guys is it ??
go to the 'guy' prostitute lah. IF there is, i sure you the first customer !!!

I really had nothing to say to you. I didn't expect that you have change till like that.
10 yrs friendship. And yea, I don't give a damn of it.
I despise you. And also if you wana continue get cheat by ur current guy, so be it. No one can stop you. Since you are so despo for a 'bf'. Go for it.

I guess you should know I am refering to you. But pls don't blame the person who tell me this. All along, i know abt this story whereby a ger keep pestering him, accusing him of dump her and hurt her alot. When he told me about tis story, i was like WTF such a ger also got !!
BUT i never ever expect the ger he refering is YOU'.
He's the victim. I really pity him for been pestering by you in the past.
let me tell you, he's my friend. Don't ever think that he is for you to take advantage.

And if you wana let ur guy cheat now, carry on by all mean. Pls don't borrow any $ from my friend, and play m.i.a aft that.
You are the one who want to let guy cheat. So be it. Don't cry for help when u are in troubles.
No one will pity you, i tell you. You deserve it.

I guess you just need a guy, no matter who the guy, as long as is a 'guy' u sure on. I never expect my fren is such a kind of ppl.
I am really disappointed. You are such a cheap ger is it ?! farking hell!!

I have seen wrong you. I should not have forgiven you in the first place.

I does not have this kind of friend. You are not my friend. Fcuk off ~

damn you.

2009-02-18T22:45:00.000-08:00

I really need to rant it out.

I think i have already been bothering about this matter, since dunno how many months ago, or yr ago. If i mention is 'work' matter. I guess without saying, everyone should know what i'm going to say.

and yes, it's 'bosss'!!!!

I just hate it when he keep using the email which i sent out to shoot me back. Was like everything I do or say, also wrong.

Whenever he unhappy or wad, he just so fucking like to vent it out on others. Taking an example of today. I just reply the email to my agent saying this ah that ah. BUT what's wrong? I am just stating the facts lah. If not end up, cust complaint who kena ? Also me lah, i'm also the one who kena f*** by the cust.

I am just stating out the possibilities, what the fuck i do wrong?

He say: damn it, stop asking so much and just do it, don't embarrass me' I was like WTF !!? My those words embarrass him wad ???

If i don't mention out, end up i am still the one kena screw up by cust wad !! nb..

Before i could reply back him the mail. Another mail came: Shut the fuck up can you ?

damn it lah! I was just so angry. At that times, i would really want to stand up and run to his room to give him one tight slap !!!! *which is impossible* -.-

I just fucking angry!!! what wrong w my words which causes all these shits fm him. He can bloody scold me vulgar !! Yes, a boss scold a staff vulgar ! Ever met this kind of boss before?

I bet you don't. I guess i am just unlucky to be in tis stupid company w this kind of idiotic boss!!!

And one thing i want to stress, I think his english only primary sch standard. Laugh.

'Shut the fuck up can you?' can anyone tell me what does tis sentence mean?

Was kinda amazing by tis kind of sentence, with no meaning at all. But i definitely know he have already fuck me upside down.

was getting sm news fm my other colleague saying that his email, alws is broken eng. Not this word spell wrong, jiu shi miss out tis word never write, become improper sentence.

aiyah, whatever. I can't be bother about it. And I don't understand why the fark i am still in this company. Anyone can tell me?

Can't be bother, can't be care about. Let it be.

OH YAH!

A very sad thing to say, only myself sad lah. Yesterday dance lesson is such a letdown. I almost give up. I just got the feeling to stop and run out of the class.

I just could not concentrate, and can't seem to follow up with the class. I just can't follow up with those dance steps. Am i stupid or am i slow ? I just can't seem to absorb those steps into my brain. I can't do it. My mood was like............... drop to the lowest!!!!!

I don't know why. I would like to know am i stupid or am i slow !?

I feel so regretful in joining the class. I really did.

Laopo have encourage me. I feel slighly better after that, went to some corner to practise with her. Slowly, and i know those steps. Then i feel, i am not stupid. I am just 'slow' learner.

During lesson, can't because of me and the whole class is stop. No matter hw bad i did in class, it will still continue. Only after class ended, then i would get the sufficient time to slowly learn to slowly absorb in everything.

I would give myself one last chance. Just last chance, i think.

Don't we look cool in this way ?? hahahs. YOYOYO !

;DD

2009-02-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day.

well, I didn't take any pic of it loh. one point, is i really lazy to take picture of it =X
Anyway, enjoy those 2 days together with bibi ;D I hope by now, you should already trust me completely. As the card I gave you, I have mentioned that I would walk down the future road together with you, and i really do mean it. Trust me ok?
I really do love you. Let us be together happily. Hand in hand, and we would walk down the road till we are old like 'ah pei, ah ma' hahahs.

I never regret been together with you. Pls have complete trust in me. I won't bluff you in anything yah! ^^ cause.......... i love you. ;D

Okies, let talk about something else.
the online clothe. Yah indeed the quality no words to describe. BUT smthing I would like to grumble about. The size is really small loh. Those clothe which i saw on site is wore as a dress, listen properly is dress loh !!!! but turn out, i can only wear it as a top !!! -.- was like omg loh, why so short nia !!! am i tooo 'tall' or the model on the site tooooo short ??!? any explanation?!
haiz, forget it. The picture I have post it up on my previous post.

Anyone interested in those clothe? I would sell it off. Price negotiable. Faster sell it off lah.
Brand new, and with the tag. =)
online shopping is really doubtful loh. No one noe the exact size ! buy le don't fit like so disappointed leh ):
think next tym don't buy already lah. Make me happy for nothing nia, tot got new clothe with such good quality but end up size so small ):

forget it, forget it. >.<

Everything I choose, not no use, jiu shi no future. Then wad the hell can i choose??? Pls tell me, pls teach me!!!

SCREW IT !!!! WHY ??!!

It's such a dreadful nightmare.

2009-02-12T23:50:00.000-08:00

I am tooo happy for words.

HAHAHA!
Just cuz of my online clothe have arrived!!! It is a wholesaler from china !!!! ;DD
The quality of the clothe was like 'no words' to describe. Superb loh!!! damn good man !!! -.-
I was like crazy leh, happy over this for wad sia!! BUT i really feel like jumping man, hahas, cuz the clothe was to my taste 100% man!! It's over my expectation lah ^^
But one thing is, im happy over it, it's mainly cuz the quality of the clothe was really good, as I din expect that it will be that good.

last tym the wardrobe 54 is an gd example of the bad quality i refering to. Their clothe quality suck to the core.
This tym round, this batch of clothe was really good. Worth buying from them. May consider to buy again, lols.
And i was like consider of setting up a blogshop to sell this clothe. Cause such a superb clothe, why not consider of it? But think of have to create a new blog, edit template -.- siannn half liao.
No time for it loh ^^ let me consider bah.

Oh ya, and it only took less then 10 days to arrive, isn't that fast ??

wooo ;DD great right.

Above is the pic of clothe i bought for myself, the rest is my colleague de which I never post up the pic. Minimum 10 pcs, & myself bought 5 pieces -.-

Although the clothe look quite 'normal' but the quality of the clothe really surprised me.
;DD

2009-02-11T23:15:00.000-08:00

One word, dancing is FUN.

I will try my best, that all I can say. Those ppl who don't look good on me, just wait and see.

I will show you i can do it. One day, you shall see. Hiphop dance is tiring, as got many steps and big action which is required. During the first lesson, i was sweating lyk hell. It's weird, as we are in the air conditional room. -.=
But overall, it's alright. I would say, i will try my best in it since this is what I have chosen.
After this, maybe would consider taking 'mtv' dance ?? steps more slower and look more presentable. I mean as in the dance step look more 'finer'. what word is tis? -.- aiyah whatever.

Anyway, give me support lah. Don't look down on me hor.

hahahas!

: disappointed, that all i would say. I would want our love to be forever.

2009-02-09T22:55:00.000-08:00

I hate liar, hate ppl breaking promise. Hate it hate it hate it!!

no nid find all sort of excuses lah. do u think i am 3 yrs old kids? ur action, ur everything tells.
ur acting is not that great. Come on, stop your bloody act man!
Telling lies without blinking of eye. Oh man, what a great actor you are. One word to you lah, i just despise you lah. You suck, you this mother fucker.
You does not deserve my respect at all man. hate you man !!!! No such fren of this.

went for a run earlier on. I think is a 2.4km ? I completed it within 15mins -.= am i great ? ;D
but my toes was hurting lyk hell, water blister sia ):
shoe too tight liao. time to change shoe liao.
feeling uncomfortable now, whole body was aching and feeling giddy -.- maybe cuz not eating anything which causes the giddyness. Have not been running for many mths. Have to get used to it lah, haizz, no choice got to run more often.
Everyone say I fat ): oops, I should use this word 'plump' instead of fat. I am not fat. Only tooo many unwanted fats ): help me get rid of it man !!

Although I have no faith in dancing. Altho I have take up the course le. But i noe my ownself. I know I have no talent of dancing lah ): But what done is already done yah.
I could only say I would try my best. That all i can say.
Why can't ppl around me give me support in it, instead of pouring cold water on me? Sayin what lah, i really go learn dance ah ??? WHAT YOU MEAN BY "REALLY GO LEARN AH" ??
what wrong i taking dance? what wrong i learing smthing which is not suitable for me?
What wrong with it ???? I can learn want right !!!??? fuck off lah, if you all just wana 'suan' me.
I don't need those comments man..!!!! I can't be bothered about it loh..
Who is true fren, who is faking, i realli can't tell.

I can only say, i trust no one from now on. Everyone is so damn fake. I only trust my only girlfriend in office. She love me, and i love her. That's what i call true fren. The others? stop all the act man .. had engh of al those nonsence.

I know who is nice to me, who is bad to me. I can tell. Does not need any lecture or whatever so from whoever.

Cool huh, isn't it ??? hahahas !!! ^^

2009-02-08T01:25:00.000-08:00

wooo~ many many animals.

many many but i dunno their name leh. But especially got the flying squirrel, ever heard of squirrel can fly huh? They got such a big wing -.- or hand i dunno, when they open up, they can fly soooo high up ;D
And got 'bats' close view sia.. they was just infront of ur eye nia loh.. very close sia, very scary -.- they are so big in size loh !!!
many fruits was hanging on the tree.. their food lol.. get chew till so disgusting by them loh -.-

Maybe I was anti-social ? no lah, i think not. Cause new friend need time to communicate de ma..
went to night safari with bibi & his frens. And they are so crappy and funny, i think lols.
I am not those type who could have many words with the person which have just met. So sorry bibi, i was like the most quiet person among all while everyone was talking and laughing -.=
maybe if got few more outing, then would be ok le.. hahahs! more communication can make feeling grow yah ! ^^

I am soooooooo bored now. My show have finish watching. Lazy to download new show lah, need few days to finish upload all loh.. waste time leh -.-

so siannnnnnnnn !!! =/

~~I Love my boyfriend ((:

2009-02-03T23:25:00.000-08:00

Was watching alot of my download show recently & lazy to update -.-

29.01.09
thanks bibi, for the memories day. Love been with you =) Yah and i don't understand why soo many sporean enjoy going to Spore flyer. First time attempt, and i feel that there is nothing loh.
what a scenery is that? spore got nice scenery meh? what i could see from the top of the flyer is just those tall office building & the renovation of the future casino, that all loh. Got nice views to see meh ?? move till soo slow keep stopping and like that move for 30mins. They really earn alot from these cust loh. And those sporean willing to waste those money in these mah, so yah can't blame.
I find it so bored. To me, it's just a waste of time & money to go spore flyer. just to view those "nice" scenery for 30mins.
What a place.

And also, i have to stop my online shopping liao. I simply bought too much already.
total there is 7 clothes which yet to arrive which I have order -.-
When the batch of my clothe arrive, if the quanlity of the clothe is good maybe I would consider setting up a blogshop to sell it also. For that supplier, their clothe only need 5-7 working days to reach wor, very fast and efficient leh. Got good stuff must share yah, hahas!

I have been controlling my diet recently. i have successfully stop myself from eating those fried food or oily food. And also my fav macdonald ):
the temptation tend to be there, but i told myself I can do it. Since I have make up my mind, i tell myself I will do it, i can do it.
My dance course will officially start on 10th feb. Laopo yah, we can do it right? =)
And also plan to go gym twice a week. Clare must motivate me yah. give me support. hahahs!
was thinking of running a short distance everyday. I mean those day which i never go gym.
But think I need a rest too, but got a saying that running everyday could make you slim down more faster leh. Can i able to do it ? ): I doubt it too. haiz. Never mind, I will try my best bah.

Need alot of motivation ): I need to do lots of exercise already, to enable myself to get back my idea weigh yah. I can do it =)

Will not upload any pics already. Other day perhaps?

^^

2009-01-29T00:35:00.000-08:00

I must find something to post yah ! reasons will be stated at the end of my post =)

*** thinking.... ***

firstly, there is one thing i would like to stress that, i think I really need to slim down already -.- this yr all my relative say i have grow fatter. IS EVERYONE !! everyone agree that I have grow more fatter -.- I have alot of unwanted fats lah! ): seriously loh, this is the first time yah, first time leh, everyone agree that I have grow fatter !! ): that's sad!!! really #$%^&*^&#$ !!!!!!! haiz.

thanks to my bibi come out of this list I MUST obey !

1) Eat Lesser Rice.
2) Eat Less Oily Food
3) No Macdonald
4) Befor Sleep 5 hours No Heavy MEALS - Small Meals is Allow
5) *** NO FRIED FOOD *** Till You Slim Down .. After Slim Down you can Eat abit =D
6) DRINK Green TEa
7) NO chocolate No Sugar !
8) Jog 20mins Twice a week
9) Drink More Water.. not Those Sweet Drink =D

have to get rid of my fav MACDONALD !! omg, my fav food -.- I MUST PRESERVE! I will not eat macdonald from now on. I promise !! haiz.. no choice. I MUST obey lah! ):

And to take up dancing course with my laopo anna!! I sure or should i say I hope i would slim down ):

I don't want to grow fatter even more !!!! haiz..

Few days resting.. wooo~ so shiok. Back to work on friday. Should feel happy on fri/sat. No boss around, woo can do whatever we want! HAHAHS! ^^

Lastly, HAPPY ONE MONTH' anniversary to my bibi <3

It seem like we have been together for so long, maybe cuz we noe each other too long already.

LOL, anyway, we still have many many more years to go thru together.

We have finally found each other ;D

Must love each others more yah ? ^^ love you manys manys !! (:

2009-01-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

Woo~ HAPPY NEW YEAR YO ALL

well, this year don't seem to be so excited at all? so dull. As years pass by, cny seem to be like a normal day. Nothing special. Only those small kids would play cracker, happily receiving angbao.

I remember, when i was a kid, i was sooo much looking forward to cny every year. Can gather with cousin, eat tibit, play game, etc.. so much fun thinqs to do together.

Now thinking back, so memories.

Now ah, old already loh, who still want to eat tibits [will grow fat loh] who still want to play game.

Think of it, sound so childish yea ? -.="

Everyone is growing, everyone is changing. People tend to become isolated from one another.

Sigh, what a new year!

Would go bai nian with my frens yea? better?! no matter how old we grow, bai nian with fren is alws so fun !! Fren always have soooo much thing to share about. Be is work prob la or rs prob. Friend is alws the one who is there for you. And of course my dearest bibi <3

Have nothing much to post about lah. Just feel like posting.

And lastly end my post, with this picture -.- bear with me lah !

'Out of boredness' can be forgiven yea? CNY is soooooooo boring. sigh.. Look forward to this sat lah.

2009-01-24T23:45:00.000-08:00

Went to coloured my hair today ^^

Purple + red , but then overall turn out to be sooooooo dark = = but under the sun should be quite obvious bah xDD

The purple is quite obvious, as it's mainly forcus on the left side nia. ^^ sooo nice the colour!

I am very satisfied with my life now. Be it friend or bf. I have soooo many lovely fren & colleagues. And a great great bf I have, he's such a nice nice bf. I simply love him soooo much.

Enjoys every moments spend with you. You really have touched my heart. <33

We still have a long way to go. xDD

A short post today yah! Just wana post up those piccss ^^

I am happy!!!! xDD